We begin again...

When everything leaves
when everyone leaves:

is it then you realise the energy
you invested in another
was better invested in yourself?

And you drag yourself up
to make another cup of tea
that you will forget yet again on the counter
and drink in the lukewarm contents
hours after you first brewed it

Whilst your soul brothers and sisters
Let go of all worldly pleasures for the day
To focus upon their Lord

And yet your adrenals won't allow you this.

The major solstice has passed me by yet another year.

The body was a wreck
The friends left, one by one

And I am here,
With my thoughts

It is best
To pull myself out of these thoughts
And act

Any energy invested back in me
Is energy invested back in me

When this soul learns that no one really needs her
Yet she still must help without any signature
And perfecting the fine art of balance
Of being there for herself
And being kind to another

She will have learned yet another thing

Only for someone who is wiser than her
To smash that reality

bringing her back
to her original state

of utter mess

and

c
  o

   n
     f
       u
          s
              i
                 o
                       n



Let go of the self importance
Come back to yourself

There is no delineation
Between the truth and the fiction
All this while you sought in others

And all this while the others were as confused,
and as grasping and as disingenuous as you yourself

The pain is real and needed
The missed opportunities allow you the acceptance of youself
That no other will ever give you

But do not harden your heart again, little one.
Open it up more

And then God will speak t you through it somehow.

There are too many words flying around the earth these days

We command silence for fifteen days, to reset your balance
To cleans all the old unfinished business

You are correct.

you weren't sent here to agonise about the demarcations between
a twin flame,
a twin soul,
a soul mate....

not to go through clearing after clearing of the same man
whose brown eyes sear into your soul

Do you barter your worth for all of this
fluff?

You gave yourself away,
prostituted your soul
to father, mother
sister, brother,
lover,
the animals,
the politicians,
whose words and rhetoric grate
against your ears

You also gave it all away to your
gurus

And that was the deepest of pains,
The most knowledgeable of all learnings
 Is to realise the truth of Ali
when he said that to feel both superior
and inferior is harmful for the soul.

When one feels inferior,
they cannot create.
People use them,
the ones who see their value.
And you also ended up using others
as you have in other
existences.

And all of it collapses upon itself.

We begin again.

Yes.

- Sukaina Juma
22/06//2016