2020: the year we MUST end all damaging contracts

So, it has happened that three years down the line, after removing myself physically from a damaging cult that made itself look benign, and even created it's own web hyperlink called wwe, I was still very much under the curse and contracts of that person.

I can't say anything further (forbidden words and thoughts) without risking being sued for libel. All the experiences are spiritual and energetic, and cannot be proved.

But the people who have helped me, I trust their information.

And this is why we MUST end all our damaging contracts that we made to ourselves.

The contracts are made at different points:

1) at birth
2) at conception or before conception
3) in between lives
4) past lives
5) present lives, at a younger or older age
6) fall from grace
7) at the time the world was created

and many other points, since time is not linear.

What kind of life damaging vows do we make to ourselves?

I have a theory that as souls, we aren't hat intelligent about life on Earth. And if we don't learn from the foolishness of previous lives, we perpetuate the same suffering in the current and future lives.

Certain vows I still have in place:

1) I am strong enough to handle all the suffering and pain without any help (I am not)
2) I am strong to not have friends (real ones)
3) I will not have a romantic partner, and will constantly pine after people who don't care about me
4) I am codependent
5) Blocks to positive living, money, prosperity, career, aspirations
6) I will be abused by clueless people
7) I will be trapped and have to live in a place that is harmful to me (London)
8) I will delay my healing and not see

There are many others.

It is a huge, shocking revelation to really see my darkness, the complicated ways I have ensured myself a miserable experience. I allowed others to do the same, by giving away my power of discernment, to think... the codependency cords were too strong.

It began from my parents, and then friends, and then more friends, and then a false guru who pretended to be a genuine person and cared about my well being.

Even now, I find myself meeting people who are not right for me. Something in me does not notice the red flags or the inconsistencies. My empathy overrides all logic and understanding.

The younger versions in need of a safe environment and sane, awake people seem to project this onto people based on religion (I am of Muslim upbringing), ethnicity (Pakistanis - not the best thing to do - knowing Urdu doesn't make for a pure soul), mothering energy (nopes, this has proven to be very conditional - people already made their families and became mothers to give that love to their own offspring, not to me), fathering energy (same thing), brother, sister, grandmother (same thing), nationality (I have very few real friends who are living in London - something about London specifically - the western way).

Yesterday was a bad day for me. The loneliness was eating me up inside.

Why do I repel people and invite constant disappointments and betrayals?

And the answer came: subconsciously, I never have fully changed the belief that I am worthless, not deserving of the good things in life. Not deserving of love, loyalty, affection, real genuine love... not worth of receiving without the automatic reaction to give back straight away.

And this is why I have met the people I have met, and have made incorrect decisions.

This is why for 10 years, the NHS and all the GPs at the surgery I go to in Wimbledon have not cared for me and ensured I suffered and didn't get a disability care plan and the appropriate benefits. I felt like I was a scrounger.

Unfortunately, the power of David Cameron's toxic words became like a curse in my mind. Be very aware of the NLP techniques the Conservative Party representatives use to enure the population remains disempowered, starving, suffering, dying, homeless, whatever.

It hooks into our low self-esteem.

****

So I spent a good two hours (I wasn't able to concentrate) on Divine Healing Level 1, surfacing the limiting beliefs and key psychological conflicts.

I can reach my highest potential / I cannot reach my highest potential.

And this is another reason for the despair. Subconsciously, because I feel like an utter failure, I had this conflict.

And this is EXACTLY the reason why this year, in the NOW, we MUST end all damaging contracts we made to ourselves and others.

They are utter lies and they are harming us more each day we keep them under wraps, not even knowing we have them.

A lot of them are inherited in the womb, when we were being formed inside, as well.

A lot of the New Age stuff is suspect only because people found another thing to make into a commodity. Most of these people leave a sick feeling in my stomach. Now I know WHY.

Healing and connection to God and self should NEVER be a commodity.

I was paying £300 a month to this cult leader. She made each of us sign a legal contract, and persuaded us with gentle cooing words, and Tony Robbins style of making you feel like a fool for not doing so.

And she will never give it back to me.

And this is someone I loaned £1,000 for her house rent in the beginning. Only because I was too depressed to take a Divine Healing Course then which would probably have changed the entire trajectory of my life.

There was one weekend event, and I and two other participants vomited the entire day as a result of the dark energies that were being used in January 2016. I didn't call an ambulance, not a single person working for her called for ambulance, and she didn't allow me to call for one afterwards, she pretended it was "father healing". Oh, had I the aqal to know what was really going on.

Psychopathic and sociopathic behaviour comes with immense charm. Please, remember this.

But it is what it is.

For someone who was earning £800 a month, I have NO IDEA HOW I assumed that £300 a month was justified.

I'm slowly trying to reconcile and say that I paid for the house keeper she kept, so that innocent soul could pay her rent or electric bills.

___

I know you don't know me, and I have no medical or mental health qualifications.

The only thing I have is lived experience.

And, right now,that's all I have going for me.

I'm still alive. And one day, I will be formalising all of this to help others in a VERY real way.


____

Divine Creator,

We align fully with our higher selves and our inner wisdom.

We ask for deep, profound healing for (enter your name) with Grace and Power in the perfect time of NOW (and you can also add a specific date for 5 or 10 years earlier).

Show each of us exactly the correct and aligned healing pathway to clear all the lies, subconscious beliefs, programming, and blocks that no longer serve me/us.

Remove from us the pattern of being entirely financially and legally dependent on a corrupt governments.

Bring to light this year all the people who are deceiving traumatised humans by making spirituality a business for exploiting people and their money. It no longer serves any of us to remain in denial, blind to the realities, including that of viruses, fluoride, vaccines, pharmaceuticals, GMO foods, chem trails, child trafficking, and everything else on this immensely INSANE planet.

Make us aware of the implants in our brains, and the brainwashing. What the sheeple effect is.

Move us physically to the places which will truly serve the highest forms of healing.

Grant us genuine, loving, sane friends.

Grant us Grace after so much chaos.

Uncreate all the contracts, destroy them and replace with Light.

Ameen.

Redeeming the starseed destinies

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - Freydoon Rassouli

Sometimes I can't understand how I can have so many different strands of DNA within this one body of mine.

Indian

Pakistani

African

Some British

Starseed

My Higher self is actually on track with the ego demolition, it's just that my ego is requiring a lot of time to understand that I actually matter, that all his healing is necessary and that I matter.

When one dies, and a Sufi must die continuously upon the path, all the people who are still "alive" will cease to make much sense.

Forgiveness and detachment become slightly easier.

Silence becomes the most favoured response.

There is no need for the old ties, and as such, they must be cut and severed.

May we each find our true ways, those of purity

And, you know what, it's perfectly okay for me to be openly a starseed. No point in hiding it, it's evident even to those who cannot understand why they stare...

I am a bringer of the light, just like each of us... so why the big fuss?

in this there is inherent blessing

I developed an interesting theory today after having an interesting day: your gifts that are given to you, are then taken away from you, and in this there is inherent blessing. As you dig within to find your power and bring forth the embers from a zero point.

Yesterday, I woke up in the morning a bit more relaxed than I have been for quite some time. It is the result of doing the Lesser Banishment Ritual of The Pentagram by Aleister Crowley at night, and feeding my first and second munay-ki rite, because if I hadn't shifted some energy, I thought I would burst.

I settled into meditation and breathing, and almost immediately I felt the energy of my ex intuitively. Sometimes I hear his voice. For some reason, I keep thinking he, too, is going through some great tragedy and challenges as I am, only moreso because he is finally waking up for the first time (yes, I now see the seed of spiritual arrogance creeping in to beguile me, but it feels so real whilst we are in it. Who am I to have an opinion about anyone else's levels, when I drop so readily myself on daily basis?).

So, I asked myself, if you want to write to him, is that what your heart wants? The answer came yes. So, I did a really silly thing. I wrote to him. And I told him exactly why. It didn't feel silly at the time, because I could feel his auric field, and it was welcoming and soft. Loving, even. But in real life, this is the latest in a string of silly things I do when I read too many twin flame forecasts, which I had stopped doing, and then started again. They kept on banging on about how the portal was opening for reunion. I deluded myself into a sense of false hopes. Yet, I did what I had to do. I felt better for writing the email. I didn't check if he read it or responded.

And a few hours later, I asked myself, "why the HELL did you do that? You know how silly that was?" I gave myself a good talking to.

Yet, this story ends well. It is as though, having written to him, something very old, faded, torn, broken was released from me.

"You silly, it doesn't matter. He's not in your life. Where is the reality in all of this? Where is the power? It's not even as though you WANT to be with him, is it? SO THEN? Why do you write to him?" (Uncontrollable impulse). And all of this was done before breakfast.

A treasured friend then helped me do a healing for myself to clear some emotions. My heart was blocked, and it was grief over how many times I have been rejected by men. A past life pattern of never getting the guy. Let it all go. Feel so much better now. And today, some cord released from my spine, similar to an implant, and all that I did yesterday seems like a far away dream, something I did when I was younger. Not yesterday.

Usually I would feel shame and anger at myself, and I did feel a little bit, but now I know there are other things to focus on. My friend is a very powerful healer.

This reminded me that, whilst I've been avoiding the issues and looking to reflexology and EFT tapping to help me feel better, I realise that doing a proper body release of the emotion will benefit me more. More than even meditation perhaps.

So that's just what I am going to do now, to clear the patterns.

After my cousin did such a powerful healing for me using Reiki, I'm going to revisit the symbols and start healing myself and my environment with them.

This is the blessing.... my ego made me believe I was beyond the methods, until all my wisdom, knowledge and awareness have been muted.

So you go back to basics. Real basics. And never overstep the boundaries or the journey.

I told my counsellor that I didn't mention to him the fact I had romantic feelings for my married cousin. The reason was shame, and the ridiculousness that again I fell for a married man. For it is therefore not meant to be. So he asked me, why did you feel you could tell me now?

And that was because I had told myself in affirmation that it is okay to love someone and them not love you back. It is about you being a loving and demonstrative person, and finding a connection with that person. You validate your feelings and yourself. The other person's response is their own issue.

Especially since nothing will ever happen. And we wouldn't be compatible, my ego would constantly compete with him to be more gifted a healer. And because I wouldn't be more gifted than he is, or wiser and more knowledgeable than he is, I would feel frustrated. Best he remain a mentor. And hopefully a friend/brother.

So I realised that the moment you OWN your feelings and your darkness and the "shameful" aspects of your thoughts and behaviour, the sting goes away. There is no good or bad. It is as it is. You feel bindaas, free... the old matrix collapses in front of your eyes, you breathe easier, and you start to dance to Daddy Yankee again.

After seven years, it still feels like a brand new concept.