I wanted to make another video today. It just didn't happen, again.
I am in a low place emotionally, so all that was coming out was a lot of personal angst and complaints. Which is perfectly allowed by the Divine, just very poor entertainment value for viewers.
So I took a detox salt bath with rose essential oils and herbs, and feel like I am a bit more inside my skin.
There is a lot going on.
I am finally becoming selfish. The more selfish I become with my energy and time, the more I succeed in something else.
I amde the mistake of going to a dinner organised by work management. I wasn't going to go, as I prefer to go out by myself. But somehow, I got encouraged to go by a work colleague, who seemed very loving at the time.
On the day, we didn't even talk to each other, and as much as I tried to be a positive person, I was rundown with what feels like flu, and it became uncomfortable as I really can't do small talk with people I have nothing in common.
I have to write it up as experience and a huge lesson about following my own decisions through, and not giving up my 2.5 hours and some money because of someone who doesn't care when I am sick, and I wouldn't trust to save me if anything happened to me.
Sigh.
Basically, the spiritual master will dance when they are bleeding.
They will be honest, and tell the truth about what their limitations are.
I have lost all the friends I made over the last two years. My physical and emotional detox isn't progressing. I am forgetting things, and have consulted someone I trust as psychic and working on clearing emotions that have tormented generations of my family's lineage.
And there's a lot more going on. I fail every single day.
Can one blame me for wanting to isolate and hide?
People are showing themselves to be even more disconnected from soul and heart, they are NOT in their bodies.
Anyway....
we dance.
And make beautiful patterns with the blood on the dancefloor.
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