Solstice energies. I never really understood in my soul what these energies meant. I mean, I went to Avebury a few years ago for solstice, then went somewhere else to honour it. All that happened was heatstroke and, more importantly, the fact my ego was forcing me into doing these rituals that others seemed to master so well, yet my core issues had not been healed.
The day before solstice, was one of the hottest days in London. My mind felt it had melted, and funnily enough, as it melted, the heart was expanding. I have times when my heart is very open and the energy flows. And I also have times whereby my heart is closed, because the pain is there from various instances. People behave in such bizarre ways, it is just easier to block it all out.
What I needed to do is re-engage with myself. I have spoken to many people to figure out various instances in my life. What I have noticed is that everyone has their individual perspective.
And they are all, of course, spiritual people. Yet, we all are students of life, and our intuition doesn't give us that personal perspective that only a soul can truly know for itself.
So, I had to speak my truth to the twin flame. He had looked at my LinkedIn profile again on the 19th, and it hurt my heart. I am aware of what is going on, and he is oblivious. And it is, once again, the relationship you would never brag about. Never. It is something I never imagined to experience and pray that this phase ends on this last holy night of Ramadhan.
The Lord who created everything is truly very merciful. We cannot stress that enough.
Humans are humans, and even the older souls have certain complexes they are working through.
I had two healings on Friday, and on days when I find really lovely, genuine shamans and healers, I feel so blessed. I feel as though the universe allows me a peek into family and flow.
I said I needed to re-engage back into my life, as I feel disconnected very much so from almost every area of life.
It is not easy balancing becoming a sufi and remaining true to the authentic essence of the faith I chose to be born into - which is NOT a mistake - and balancing the healer, shamanic side of my light.
It is becoming clear I will be merging them both to bring light and healing and harmony and joy.
How this will come to pass is not my concern. My concern is self purification.
I broke my fast today at 3pm because I didn't want to be the only one not eating at a shamanic meet up and picnic. I feel that my empowerment needs work, as I have been very used to stating that ancestry has slowed me down.
But my tarot reading today told me that there is no mistake. Re-engaging with my ancestry seems to be the only way for my healing. Not denying what these roots are, these bones are. Owning it and allowing myself to be respected and loved and cherished.
One step at a time...
I just need to feel the energy in my hands and fingers all over again. I can feel the earth beneath my feet again, and was able to communicate truly with people today.
I may even go for Eid prayers tomorrow, and that makes me feel very happy.
The Sufi healer had told me I have three ruhaani inside of me, two were active and love listening to dhikr, yet one was very weak and needed to energise.
I let that be sorted out by the Creator of all things...
The night of Eid is very special for karma deleting and soul purification, so I will leave you, dear reader, to pray and spend time in reflection and solitude.
Re-Engagement of the Self is what will bring me towards fulfillment and peace.
It seems that I will need to spend time alone for this to happen, and then engage with the right people at the right time.
It is a great blessing that I now no longer feel that gnawing loneliness I used to feel only a few months ago whilst alone, or missing out on events, or healing evenings due to financial budgeting. It is because I am allowing myself to become whole, and more of my soul to come inside.
This is how it ought to be for everyone, yet we each take such meandering pathways...
More reflections will come forward.
The day before solstice, was one of the hottest days in London. My mind felt it had melted, and funnily enough, as it melted, the heart was expanding. I have times when my heart is very open and the energy flows. And I also have times whereby my heart is closed, because the pain is there from various instances. People behave in such bizarre ways, it is just easier to block it all out.
What I needed to do is re-engage with myself. I have spoken to many people to figure out various instances in my life. What I have noticed is that everyone has their individual perspective.
And they are all, of course, spiritual people. Yet, we all are students of life, and our intuition doesn't give us that personal perspective that only a soul can truly know for itself.
So, I had to speak my truth to the twin flame. He had looked at my LinkedIn profile again on the 19th, and it hurt my heart. I am aware of what is going on, and he is oblivious. And it is, once again, the relationship you would never brag about. Never. It is something I never imagined to experience and pray that this phase ends on this last holy night of Ramadhan.
The Lord who created everything is truly very merciful. We cannot stress that enough.
Humans are humans, and even the older souls have certain complexes they are working through.
I had two healings on Friday, and on days when I find really lovely, genuine shamans and healers, I feel so blessed. I feel as though the universe allows me a peek into family and flow.
I said I needed to re-engage back into my life, as I feel disconnected very much so from almost every area of life.
It is not easy balancing becoming a sufi and remaining true to the authentic essence of the faith I chose to be born into - which is NOT a mistake - and balancing the healer, shamanic side of my light.
It is becoming clear I will be merging them both to bring light and healing and harmony and joy.
How this will come to pass is not my concern. My concern is self purification.
I broke my fast today at 3pm because I didn't want to be the only one not eating at a shamanic meet up and picnic. I feel that my empowerment needs work, as I have been very used to stating that ancestry has slowed me down.
But my tarot reading today told me that there is no mistake. Re-engaging with my ancestry seems to be the only way for my healing. Not denying what these roots are, these bones are. Owning it and allowing myself to be respected and loved and cherished.
One step at a time...
I just need to feel the energy in my hands and fingers all over again. I can feel the earth beneath my feet again, and was able to communicate truly with people today.
I may even go for Eid prayers tomorrow, and that makes me feel very happy.
The Sufi healer had told me I have three ruhaani inside of me, two were active and love listening to dhikr, yet one was very weak and needed to energise.
I let that be sorted out by the Creator of all things...
The night of Eid is very special for karma deleting and soul purification, so I will leave you, dear reader, to pray and spend time in reflection and solitude.
Re-Engagement of the Self is what will bring me towards fulfillment and peace.
It seems that I will need to spend time alone for this to happen, and then engage with the right people at the right time.
It is a great blessing that I now no longer feel that gnawing loneliness I used to feel only a few months ago whilst alone, or missing out on events, or healing evenings due to financial budgeting. It is because I am allowing myself to become whole, and more of my soul to come inside.
This is how it ought to be for everyone, yet we each take such meandering pathways...
More reflections will come forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment