She Falters, thy Phoenix

I falter,
I fail to trust this as my new truth.

Dost Thou loveth me so much?
Dost Thou Giveth to me such honour,

that which Thou hast bestowed upon
the brilliant sun and
the mystical moon?

The whispering wind,
the gentle mist,
the cleansing rain,
the transmuting fire?

Thou hast honoured me
by picking apart the threads of
my intricate plans.

I fell
I had to fall
I had to feel Your lack
so as to discover You anew
and to recognise You as

Real,
Infinite,
Love.

Not as the facade I had created.

I
  am
       still
             fall
                  ing
and
       I
          know
                   that
the
      earth
               has
                     been

absolved
               from
                       breaking
                                     my

fall.

If I do not acknowledge and

display

the beautiful plumage Thou hast bestowed
upon me,

If I do not shake these wings o' mine to ascend
or spread them around
Your loved ones
to shelter,
nurture,
protect,

Love,

Thou shalt not mind, Thou shalt leave me be

And replace me with another
who shall love Thee and
She shall rise and soar to Thy bidding

whilst I fretfully pluck
at my wasting plumage,
ne'er to be seen,
in shame and regret.

~ Sukaina Juma
15 October 2011