So, this is how things currently stand between me and meditation.
I know how to do it.
I know I enjoy it once I've begun.
I know I'll benefit spiritually, emotionally and intellectually from regular practice.
I know there are a bazillion ways of meditating, so one is spoilt for choice.
And yet... I avoid it like the plague.
The little chatterbox within i.e. the mind is currently so convincing, I feel as though I physically can NOT slow down the thoughts. That if I do, I will cease to exist. The world will come crashing down.
Wrong. That's the ego, fighting for dear life. The ego gets gently nudged aside when one meditates. The ego doesn't want that.
At this moment in time, everything I've been reading and speaking about or aiming for has the prerequisite of my maintaining a daily meditative practice. You'd think I'd get the hint! :p
I want to train in transpersonal counselling at the CCPD as soon as I put into effect positive changes in my personal, domestic and financial circumstances. One of the questions on the admission form is: Do you practise meditation and what form?
Mindfulness and meditation seem to be quite effective for people recovering from mental health issues. The Mental Health Foundation is investing a lot of time and research into this area. I wholeheartedly agree that it's helped me immensely in the past two years as I've slowly overcome my own personal challenges.
I've been avoiding the yoga, as well. According to Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, yoga is meditation in itself, and not 'just' the preliminary stretching exercises a yogini performs before sitting down in the lotus position and Ohmmmmmmming. Well, this little yogini hasn't done proper yoga for at least a month and a half.
For inspiration and creativity to flow, I draw mandalas. Carl G Jung used them with the people he met as his clients in order for them to express the conflicts and desires which were difficult to communicate verbally. This is a liberating method to calm the mind. One focuses all of one's concentration on the intricate drawing and colouring of these orbs of peace, alchemy and union. I've been propelled to create beautiful images in order to gain catharsis for situations and emotions that have no other outlet. Last mandala drawn: 2nd Nov 2010
Even to post on here, it's always a good idea for me to centre myself and allow the words to flow through my fingers, rather than creating a linguistic muddle of half-baked ideas and philosophies. It's evident (to me, at least!) which of my blog posts are pure inspiration and which ones have been churned out under duress and don't really say anything.
I have phases whereby all of this mindfulness is easy and desirable, and I follow through and I reap many benefits from it. Sadly, this flow is interfered with when I allow events in the outer world to overwhelm and bog me down. My mind goes into overdrive, trying to figure out what to do and how to find resolution or extricate myself from unpleasant, painful states of being.
"Think, think, think! Find logic. Silence the gentle, steady inner guidance. That's namby-pamby. Only by analysing this to death, by going over the same thoughts 50 times a day, by rehashing the past and worrying about the future and avoiding the present shall I come to the Truth!!!" screams the monkey mind.
As Eckhart Tolle has mentioned in A New Earth, we've been conditioned to identify with Renée Descartes' saying "I think, therefore I am". It's fancy, and sounds really impressive when quoted at dinner parties.
But the only truth in that saying is simply these two words: "I am..."
And the only way to get to that pure essence of being is by quieting the mind, smoothing over the turbulent waves of the lake in order to peer into the depths and comprehend the gold that lies deep below.
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Okay, talk about synchronicity.
Mindfulness for Dummies: How can you help yourself de-stress today? 14 minutes ago
Spirituality: This is an important time to meditate and to listen to your inner voice for guidance, and if you need help, to ask for it. Both from your higher self and from others. (Temperance tarot card)
Spirituality: For most of us, patience can be a difficult spiritual lesson to grapple with. However when this card appears, it's a clear signal that stillness and patience are issues that you need to work on. Meditation is helpful now. If you can't sit still and meditate for twenty minutes, that's fine… start with thirty seconds. With stillness, very often, comes peace. Look for it. (8 of Wands tarot card)
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I suppose I'd better give my mind some silent treatment right about now, before I implode.
God Bless and have a wonderful weekend!
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