Does he/she bring you to me? (Curated Post)

Nenari Anne Diamond

15 June 2017 · 

It was asked~ How do you know if he/she is the one?
And the Master Artist whispered "Does he/she bring you to me?, Does this one remind you of me, the God incarnate you are? Does this one uplift you, inspire you into your Soul and of the wholeness, perfectness, completeness, and beautifulness you are no matter how you act, what you do or say as I see you?
Does this one love you as I love you? THEN he/she is The One"
~Lady Nenari, Princess of the Sea

Authenticity | The Heavy Stuff

I tried to make a video today, but I reviewed it and it sounded very depressed and heavy. It was all true, and it had my heart and soul in it - but it makes for awful viewing.

So I uploaded one I made earlier instead. Back in January.

The sentiments are the same, but I pray that I will snap out of this soon.

I am done.




May God save me from these dark places I find myself falling back into.

lighting the candles, burning the Shadow

The shadow work is being done. It is not necessarily being done by me, but more through me.

There was something that Matt Kahn must have said in one of his recordings, and someone kind posted it on social media. It was about how I as a human am unable to forgive, unable to work through the shadow, unable to heal the emotions, unable to fix my life, unable to open up my third eye, restructure my DNA and RNA structures, unable to astral heal, etc... but You can do it through me. I surrender to this.

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

All this means is to pray for others to be free from suffering, rather than to curse their uncouth and unconscious behaviour.

I am finally able to read 40 Rules of Love without entity interference, or without some ****storm beating my energy to a pulp. I am halfway through, and I am fully in love with Shams of Tabriz. The energy of this soul is so overwhelmingly tender yet rational, fallible yet also beautiful. I see his essence gleaming through my cousin. It is an addictive and very attractive energy. I first came across this free, ferocious, yet quiet and gentle, conceding, malleable energy in my "friend" B in Konya all those years ago. He has been the only man to ever read to me, and light a real fire with coals, and to make me tea (it was that fake artificial apple tea, but who cares!). There is something very attractive about that energy in a man. Solidity, groundedness. We listened to Evanescence songs and his English was amazing and he was so articulate, as well. Middle Eastern men, sigh!

My deep attraction for that energy also highlights that is the energy I currently lack within myself. I will cultivate it within me, God willing. As He works through me inspite of myself.

In the book, as in Life, the beggar's face is that of God, the harlot's heart is as pure as a saint, the alcoholic is bleeding from within and seeks relief - God is within her as well. We none of us are to ever judge the appearance of another.

Rule 14
God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.

I have a daily Rumi quote that appears on my phone at 8:30am in the morning. Today was one that takes me a while to understand how.

So far, all I have concluded is that this corporeal world is full of crap and density. And for us idealists, who imagine it to be different. that is why we cause ourselves so much suffering. Once we accept Life for being the opposite of harmony, our resistance ceases, and we don't wish for something different. We accept the insanity and find inner coherence.

Or someone wiser than I am once said:

Life sucks and then you die.

:)

for the duration of my seclusion

"In the quiet moments
the soul has no real urges or desires
When the universe gives you a pocket of quiet, silence, peace,
please dear Soul,
enjoy it and elaborate on it.
That fountain of gratitude that bursts forth from the heart,
allows you to expand time and enjoy more peace.

It is a reality that you create with your gifts."

I have not felt so peaceful since April, when I was in a house in Richmond Hill, sitting on a plush white carpet, leaning against a wall, snow falling softly outside, managing a panic attack and crying silently, whilst my cousin prayed his salaat to my right-hand side. And even then, even with his aura being so warm, healing and magical, I didn't have the power to truly be my own self and feel free from the shackles. I hid myself away like a non-related woman would have to. people passed by me, ignoring me. It is all acceptable, because it is what I experienced and is done.

Life is chaotic, what else can I say?

But right now, I am feeling as though more darkness has lifted.

When I am alone, and when I isolate myself from the people during the weekends, I am able to remember myself in snippets. I can breathe easily. Around others, my 11-2 pattern of taking on other people's patterns kicks up, and I behave in a way I regret later on.

But it doesn't come from the meditation.

I still have not been praying the five a day salaat, and I wonder at myself how I can set myself up for such an arduous journey.

Prayer is not about my ego, and yet my ego makes it all about the ego. And I have indulged it for long, because I justify myself. I say so-and-so is favoured by God, and yet she doesn't prostrate in the Muslim prayer. I forget that, for all of that, she also is possibly on her own journey and the standards by which she will be evolving are different from mine. (Although they do say in sufi tradition that a the more a person is actualised, they will take even more care regarding the daily prayers and even if the number of prayers remains five, the quality of the prayer would help them to even levitate and do the astral travels within it, as the saints have done and continue to do).

It is not as though she has somehow gotten less favour from God for not being Muslim and praying. Quite the contrary, from whatever accounts she makes regarding her mystical experiences.

I know all of this, and yet, the guilt eats me up inside my heart. It is as though, since I was born as a Muslim, I have this duty to carry on with the same tradition. I know it works very well for my cousin, and for others who have also done the inner work.

But then, they eat meat so frequently, it must have an effect upon the soul. It can't not. Whatever goes in affects our soul. And comes out as well.

BEING IN EITIKAAF

Eitikaaf is something I chose for myself from the first day of Ramadhan. It is difficult when you work full time, and when you are a friendly chatty person. Or when chatting to someone means that you feel connected to something. But that is why we do the seclusion. To trigger and bring up all of the fears and insecurities we have that are numbed by the chatter and business.

I am being shown how much disconnection I still have. No visions, no dreams, no third eye open. Just fatigue, anger, people still behaving like morons outside. I just stay home on the weekends because it's safer for me to do so.

The days I fast have been good, I am slowly crushing that stubbornness and the self righteousness. I am now realising that the self righteousness originates from me. Once that goes, people are easier to get along with. We all make mistakes, and it's about finding a way through the chaos and the noise to move back to God and make life easier.


The sacred nights of Qadr are here and I already have my long list of wishes.




Number one, fill me with the zeal of sitting under a starlit sky. It's been years since I did that romantic thing.

Number two is PLEASE grant my favourite music artists with the healing and inspiration they need to make even more high frequency and sacred music. Especially Outlandish, A.R. Rahman, and Coke Studio Season 11 which will start on 14 August (so maybe that prayer is a bit too late now, lol, since they probably have finished composing and recording all of the songs by now. For Season 10, I won't be buying the entire album, just a few songs.). I am also praying that I can find the MP3s for Atif Aslam's Coke Studio songs - I can't find Dholna, Charkha Nolakha and Rabba Sacheya, and it's annoying my ego.


I really request true friends. Please forgive me for all of my flaws which have contributed to my being entirely friendless in London. And heal the issues I have with my family and relatives. Help me to forgive Life every moment (and help me to stop cursing the ignorant, because it just comes back to me threefold).


I need a new job that is respectful of my intellect, creativity and soul. And people who love and respect God, themselves and others. Intelligent and funny people.


And all the rest of it.


I am so exhausted and tired with all of the solar flare activity.

Time for bed.

The heart continues to close, and then open. Same for the mind. Hopefully, I will find respite soon.