organic enlightenment

 

 

25 February

One is truly fortunate to not hold any importance in the lives of others. There is no grip, no hold - the soul is free and unhindered. Being anonymous is the greatest glory the divine gives... to those who know.

One is even more fortunate to not hold onto others, and this takes lifetimes to master. Not to be insensitive, or unkind - but to not take it all on and make it ours. To let it go back to where it belongs. To not harm, and to not be harmed.

To allow and be expansive. And kind. Generous.

For the one trapped and enmeshed with others will personalise a life that was never meant to be personal.

We all go through exactly the same process, just the timing is different. Yet we always feel the pain of our own lives the most, and that of others the least because it didn't happen in our body.

Now, how does one instruct a stubborn ego to submit to this truth?

You came here in service, therefore whatever life and the world does to you is justified, as long as it's not abuse, and you don't cling on to things. Not even to your own opinion about your own life. And that craving you feel to justify, to defend, to cut down - cease it.

I came across a very interesting passage today about "hothouse enlightenment" and how someone can be granted great powers of insight and intuition and psychic ability, and yet you wouldn't trust that person to babysit your children (or, as I like to say in dramatic tones, "save me from a fiery death."

Let us today let all of them go, to learn their own lesson. We created these "monsters" to tear us down - otherwise, we might have become like them. It isn't acceptable to the ego, but to the eternal soul, all of these experiences are necessary. Which is why WE create them. There is some pattern of logic to it.

May I learn my lesson allowing generosity to always be constant, and to not shrivel under personal hurts.

There's no great glory in being more enlightened or "older" than another soul. All that means is the life intensity will increase, and more **** will happen to test and mold you.

The higher you go, the more refinement is required for the soul, so every speck of dirt is squeezed out.

I present to thee organic enlightenment.

And I ask for the ability to provide the small necessities to those in need, like food, shelter, warmth, love, reality.

A lot to think about tonight.

When you have indulged a lust, your wing drops off

"When you have indulged a lust, your wing drops off; 
you become lame, abandoned by a fantasy.…
People fancy they are enjoying themselves, 
but they are really tearing out their wings 
for the sake of an illusion."

Jalaaluddin Rumi


****

Ipso facto, know what your weak desires and lusts are.... own up to them, face them, know them intimately, why they are there, what you are running from through them...

.....and run the heck away from them!!

Fall back into your divine state.

Easier said than done, or easier done than said?

Water says, "How will you be made clean without me?"

Water says to the dirty, "Come here."
The dirty one says, "But I am so ashamed."
Water says, "How will you be made clean without me?"
Rumi, Mathnavi

~~~~~~~

You remove the thoughts that create a life form.

The energy comes back for a while, and you feel like your blood has become liquid gold for a while.

I have more energy.

Two days ago, with the precision of timing that only God has mastery over, and with my surrendering to my intuition, I met my soul mate whom I had not seen in 8 months due to his fears and blockages from his wife.

He apologised to me in very clear and detailed words. no running, no hiding behind a silent wall. I fell in love with him all over again (not that I had stopped). A perfect present... but there is nothing I can do. When someone gives away all of their power to their spouse, whereby she is checking his phone and emails, and doesn't allow you to experience the delicate nuances of human relationship. When he lacked the courage to text or call me in 8 months, and not really care how many nights I cried, or the pain that is still playing up every once in a while... well, then he isn't ready for me to be in his life.


As a friend.

I would never break up anyone's marriage or partnership (how egotistical is that thought? that someone else is the cause or source of my happiness or my peace), and this one obviously has been going very well for eleven years. They had their third child in September 2017.

I ain't that desperate for companionship (not any longer, that is).

I told him, "I know I deserve better."

This life teaches you that there are things that are more important than coupling. being okay with being alone, and being the main cause for this loneliness, for one.

The funny thing is I thought of him two days ago watching one of those YouTube videos about picking cards regarding exes. For him, the green crystals came up, as in he thought of me as a friend and was an angel in my life. All that is true.

But the love between us is so strong, I was surprised after 8 months, I still have exactly the same force of love and attraction and affection towards him. No change. As always, there was the electric charge that occurs whenever we are in the same vicinity, in the same room.

But I am thankfully not the same soul I was 8 months ago. Or rather, not the same human. I am forcing myself to surrender to whatever the reality is.

If I cast so many wicked, dark magic spells upon myself throughout the years and existences, it will take some time for them to wear off.

I had the witch-like entity removed exactly two weeks before. And, after 8 months after being so broken and in pain and hurt, and him ignoring me once when I was at the grocery store, we meet - with the precision of seconds. Had I left work earlier or had I been sidetracked with going to the second building to drop off leaflets for my colleague, I would have missed him. I left the leaflets because they were too heavy. And was angry at myself for not bringing them when it would have taken just two extra minutes to drop them off.

But those two minutes would have meant never meeting my Punjabi soulmate that evening.

He asked me to forgive him... he looked towards the skies in what seemed a gesture of awe and gratitude and said, "Well, it was meant to be that we met".

"I don't want you to think that I ever thought of you in less of a way. I don't want you to think that it was me who sent you that message.

"It wasn't you?"

"It was my wife."

I always am amazed how he keeps calling her his wife, instead of by name. I would always call them by their names. There must be some anger toward her on his part. He must feel the trappings, the energetic shackles and enslavement - he's really not that unintelligent or in denial (I would hope not.).

"You have no idea how many times I dialled your number and then cut off the call."

He alone has the right to break,
for he alone has the power to mend.
He that knows how to sew together
knows how to tear apart:
whatever He sells,
He buys something better in exchange.
He lays the house in ruins;
then in a moment He makes it more livable than before."

Rumi, Mathnavi, 1, 3882

"But I never received any call!"
"Yes, because I cut the call before dialling. I just had no idea what would happen if I did, and I couldn't take the risk. The guilt has been eating me up."


"Ab aisa lag raha hai ke thhora dil ka bojh kum ho gaya..."

Honestly? I couldn't write a script better than this - and he's not even for me. Well, my hair could have been prettier and breath fresher. Haha. Note for next time... except, again, had I stopped to freshen up at the office before leaving, I'd have missed him!

But maybe the script my soul is writing is the one of unconditional love. Not having anyone in your life, and forcing yourself to forgive his insecure wife, his own ego, and release the attachment. To spread your love to others, including some (there are many in London) arseholes that have crossed you.

If he had allowed me, I'd have given him a massive hug and a kiss. But Sukaina was not allowed to show her love and affection to him, as has always been the case. And so he drove off in his silver car, not even willing or able to offer me a lift to the bus stop.

The funny thing about him is I picked up on his beauty whilst walking past his car, and dared to look again - it was my soul that said, "look at this handsome guy. It is safe to look - to engage with life" - my default has been to ignore people and glaze my view. Something about those Muslim beards gets me into a hypnotic state. Thank goodness, he cut it back to regular size. There had been a phase whereby he was doing a some really weird things with that beard of his.

And then I recognised him.

He recognised me.

And I called out, "Can you talk to me?"

He said "I can, now."

And the best thing about him is there is almost no drama. None at all. Comfortable like an old pair of sneakers. Like a fleece blanket. Like my neighbour's cats.  Like a cup of cocoa with marshamllows and cream.

His is a soul I could hug forever. The kind of feeling I want to feel when I finally meet my own life partner. Just warm and fuzzy. Instant trust and faith. God energy.

The refined, perfect merging of the divine feminine and sacred masculine.

For 8 months, my belief has been he just doesn't care. And it is correct - one has to be really distracted and in fear to not clear up any misunderstandings.

A simple text or phone call would be all that it took. But he hasn't gotten to that level as yet.

And on the night of the solar eclipse, he showed me just how MUCH he loves and cares for me. I can never doubt it again. But, again, there was a heat of mutual love and care, of respect and of compassion, and none of the crap that I was feeling before: no anger, no hatred, no desire to get in the last word. I just spoke too quickly again.

It's the kind of friendship we both would grow from and find immense freedom in. And fun. But, as it stands... he closed off at the end, probably feeling guilty about his wife. Honestly, what is it with us humans and operating our beautiful, free existences based on the core trappings of guilt and fear?

I did tell him, "You need to have courage. Aise rishtey bohot kam milte hain. If anything changes, give me a call. Or text."

All he said was, "I'll see you around, maybe." He stiffened up, went back to reality.

I do NOT envy him, in spite of the fact he has a loving wife and three beautiful children, and an active social life, and loving family.

Since this isn't quite working in my favour, more entities are in need of removal, more curses. We both were standing out in the cold on the pavement for half an hour, rather than in a nice cosy coffee shop or restaurant. I didn't even think of asking to sit in the car to talk, and even if I had, I wouldn't have asked. He would have gotten the wrong idea of what my intentions are.

I just hope he chooses me as his spouse or girlfriend the next time we both incarnate together. What the **** is the point of incarnating with all of these beautiful soulmates, meeting them online or in the flesh, and NOT ****ing ending up with any of them? Hello?

This is so difficult for me. We were both here when we were teenagers but I never met him then, did I? I always, ALWAYS, find them AFTER they have already married the women they are meant to be with. It was the curse I put upon myself at age 13. The ridiculous Jane Austen curse.

And I accept that I made such a horrible thing happen to me. I wanted to experience this level of indescribable pain, I guess.

However, after feeling like there was something fundamentally wrong with me that no man I loved loves me back, and each of them have hurt me, Allah graced me with the clear sign that He can make things happen with such precise engineering, I still can't believe it. I've still been going to the grocery store, but never seeing him and have become so okay with it, I don't even look for him.

Allah also is reminding me that, contrary to how my family feel about me, how certain female friends feel, and contrary to every shitty thought I have had about myself and my life, he loves me. No question.

Such a sweet, kind, soft man. So soft and stable and loving, I melt into his energy and never want to leave (unless he's acting upon his ego, which is infuriating).

May I find one with all of their good qualities who had true courage and spiritual fire, such that he knows straight away that we are connected and is willing to sacrifice for the union.

Or else, give me two healthy cats to have as my children!

(Ideally both, but as they say, "laazim nahin hai ke dunya ke saari khushiyan kamaa le tu...").

And then, today, I lost all energy and vitality, I've been lying in bed all day "sick". I hope I didn't create a sadness and frustration entity that's sucking me dry.

Oh, this spiritual path!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm reading a few Sufi books I finally got after my friend got mad at me for not reading from the masters and going to hacks and charlatans for healings and knowledge.

The Knowing Heart and Living Presence, both by Kabir Helminski who has a soft, fluid way with words.

And a book by Chishti about Sufi healing...title to be added when I find the book somewhere in my room.

Starting with what is familiar and warm, what I know... my soul isn't as old as I wanted it to be, and I am now accepting of all of that.

I still mess up in social situations, and still don't have control over my own life... the small things, the larger things.

Experiencing such extreme fatigue and a buzzing that won't let me sleep or meditate or pray. Or do anything I need to do.

All is as it is.

Spellbinding Ourselves Throughout Our Infinite Consciousnesses

*** This is a first draft. I have to write this all down. It will birth when the time is right. For others to heal and NOT make the same mistakes I have made, which have had very poor results in real life. Not for my own egoic ends***

Spellbinding Ourselves Throughout Our Infinite Consciousnesses

It is my sincere desire that not a single one of my years of nothingness and immense pain is wasted. I know I will not have any descendants, progeny, children of my own, grandkids... this is something that wasn't part of my life path this time around, mainly because all children are my children spiritually. But it is my sincere wish that someone, a sleeping Starseed, another humble Sufi-shamanic type of soul will be helped by these words on these pages, these thoughts tumbling out in a wave of overwhelming relief at finally seeing the light of day, of being birthed onto planet Earth.

Of shining a light, of healing at the core - the VERY CORE - of the harshest wounds...

As for what I have experiences in the avatar role as Sukaina, it isn't interesting in the least. With great honesty and frankness, my life will never be turned into an autobiography. It has been bland, boring, caged, and mundane enough to have sent me into regular spirals of insanity and despair.

I will not write any lies or untruths.

I will also not be writing anything too specific about my personal life, because it will NOT interest you.

I have somehow been released from the ancient need to have stories, to have many tales to tell of what happened in "reality" and in "actuality".

That which is important is that the little knowledge and wisdom that I have extracted and absorbed from the soul of each experience was not meant just for me. It can't have been just for my education.

It must have also been for someone else, for the collective of Khojas, of women, of Pakistanis, of British born people in the eighties, for someone else who is connected to me on a soul level.

It has to be. I would only go through all of this for the greater good.

Wizards and witches and Sufi masters will sometimes burn themselves in the harshest fires of tribulation (even when, as was my decision, all of it self imposed and self destruction) so that others can cool their eyes and fertilise the soil with the ashes that remain after combustion.

Then the most beautiful roses and sunflowers and daffodils will grow from those ashes, bring the most heavenly indescribable scents to everyone.

There have been myriad lies told to me, and so, so, so many more that I told myself.  No longer acceptable.

I have blinded myself, gauged my own eyes out in spite, and then complained to God for taking away every single spiritual gift I had. For taking away anyone who had once supported me.

And then, recently, I witnessed a woman crawling inside a window, and jumping off a filing cabinet for me. Just for me. To help me out of the cold, and to help me get home. That was unprecedented.

We basically cast spells upon ourselves, and follow through on those our entire lives.

And then one day, some kind healer shaman soul removes the spell, and we are left with just this.

A bat. A soul fragment from when I was 2 years old. Reviving the belief that love is real.

And...

"A notebook and a pen. 

Start writing..."

I had one simple contract with you guys, with my family: hide the light, just hide the goddamned light.

We broke the shackles again and there's no more hiding.

The light is self explanatory, and it is very real.

It is allowed to shine the goddamned light.

I am allowed to be the light.

simply observe others and honour them | Curated post

 

 

 

Trinity Esoterics

Page Liked · 4 hrs ·

 

Judgment is looking at something with a focus towards what is wrong with it and using that assessment to perpetuate separation. Observation is looking at something and seeing it as an opportunity for your own expansion while staying in a place of connection.

Judgment is an act of resistance or rejection, while observation is an act of inclusion and acceptance. As judgment is the precursor to separation, many human beings will go out of their way to avoid judgment, often denying themselves their own preferences in order to please others.

Dear Ones, if someone is judging you, the fact that they are judging you tells you they are not qualified to do so. They do not know your soul’s agenda, your path, your purpose, or the bigger picture of what you are wishing to experience. All they know is that whatever they are judging about you would not be their individual preference.

Beings that have the ability to see the entire picture of you and your soul’s journey, would not have any interest in judging you at all. They would only see your divine perfection exactly as you are, and would be operating from a place of complete acceptance and unconditional love. So to be clear, the only beings who would be qualified to judge you would have no interest to do so at all.

Judgment is a practice that perpetuates itself. You fear judgment so you are on high alert for judgment from others. This will only keep you in a cycle that is contrary to what your soul is truly seeking – inclusion, acceptance, and unconditional love.

So we urge you to start to shift that old habit. Can you simply observe others and honour them as being masters in their own right, regardless of where they are on their individual paths? Can you use your observation as an informational tool to further define and grow yourself, rather than as a means of making others wrong? Can you expand into the idea that other’s struggles can be service to you if you can learn from their experiences?

Can you love and include people even if they are making choices you would not make? Can you trust that they have their own team of guides and helpers that are there to assist and guide them? Can you step back from telling people what to do and trying to fix and control them into being a loving support that is always there for them should they reach out for your help and advice in a way that is safe, accepting, and empowering?

Can you break out of the habit of judging yourself and finally let yourself off the hook for what you consider to be your mistakes and simply and lovingly appreciate the gifts that came from the experiences you had to further help you define yourself? Can you give yourself, and others, the very essence of what you are all yearning for – the safety of acceptance however you choose to express yourself that matches what your soul wishes to experience?

Be easy with yourselves, Dear Ones, and be easy with others, for you are all doing the best that you can at any given moment, and you are all glorious, magnificent souls wherever you of are on your journey. ~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young

it still hurts like anything...

All of this is making me choose differently than before.

It still hurts like anything, but I don't let it stick for as long. I can't. Life is way too short for all the bs to remain in our auric fields. Clear and cleanse it out. The people who are our closest blood family, are clear tests and are only blood family in this lifetime. We have incarnated so many times with different souls, that to remain attached to the opinion or behaviours of those just in this lifetime can seem a little silly sometimes.


Koi baat nahi...
Let it go...

And maybe we will find peace and wholeness within.


It's never personal. The Universe can be as impersonal as anything, whilst also claiming to love us more than 70 mothers. A cheeky question would be: what is the caliber of those mothers? Were we the unwanted children? The unwanted females or males? The one with special needs?


And there are those who have submitted themselves so much to their purity of soul, to the divineness of God, that the healing flows through their veins and they just tell me, you will feel better in 30 minutes. And I didn't even ask you for help, yet you give it to me so willingly, it makes me weep with this peculiar feeling of love, intimacy, gratitude and awe.


Your eyes are so familiar to me, as is your soul. Yet, why do i still not mimic your generosity, your power, your strength?


I still sit here, on the trampled earth, fumbling about with broken earthen toys, discarded and abused.
The angels hold up such pure crystals of such healing and power, yet I still do not see them.
Undoubtedly, this is a confusing time. All of the times have been confusing.


Your life. Your beingness. Your friends. All are different than before.


When you are no longer liked, it doesn't mean you are no longer worthy. It just means that, things changed.


Sometimes the mirror is accurate, sometimes the mirror is not accurate and with that is God's whisper to trust yourself and know that even when others only see your darkness, you can focus on the light.
We go through a lot to prove ourselves to be who we think we are. People call us up on things and then do exactly the same thing 6 months later.

And , we do it too...


That purity that I crave
Is a rarity that I desire
Is a cavity I seek to fill
Is a sadness that engulfs and overtakes
Is a confusion that cripples
Is a life that is eager to end itself
And start anew
Simple and clear
Without any mistakes
That became chains upon my neck
And lead inside my heart


Blessed are those who Love because they Love and know that existence was based upon Love.
Blessed are those going through the Darkness and the fatigue and the flu and the entire demolition of the ego constructs.
Old souls also need it. Because they forget as well as us younger souls.
We all are love and we all are doing the best we can each day.


Each day is different.


The knots in the stomach will go. They cannot stay. The doubts will go, the fear will evaporate. The people you feared would go, have left again.

You are alone.

What do you do now? Where do you create from nothing?

I listened to a song after a very long time today. It is a magical song. Kun fayakun. Be, and it is.




I have lost all the good bits about myself, along with the nasty bits. Some of the nasty bits are still there.

But the joyous girl who sticks her tongue out impishly has disappeared. It is alright. But the sceptre that took her place is heavy.

May the light fall upon you all the time, even when you don't notice it. May you bring your light out of you and create more light as a result. May your helpers find you swiftly. May you see from the lens of the other when in communion with them. May you finish all of your tasks with excellence. May you travel to where your soul finds healing and love and support and joy. may you live there, as well.

May this life business become easier. Make more sense. For us all.

before I lose myself almost entirely... again

Abundance is seeking the beggars and the poor,
just as beauty seeks a mirror.
Beggars, then, are the mirrors of God's abundance,
and they that are with God are
united with Absolute Abundance.
Mathnawi 1, 2745 - 2750

Someone says "I can't help feeding my family.
I have to work so hard to earn a living.
He can do without God, but not without food;
he can do without Religion,
but not without idols.
Where is one who will say,
"If I eat bread without the awareness of God,
I will choke."

Mathnawi 2, 3071-79

Tentacles over the heart

3 January 2013 · 

"Things will get better tomorrow. They always do..."

I'm taking you on your word, buddy. More importantly, I will have completely let go of the self sabotage, patterns and stories tonight. I cannot afford to have 2010 regurgitating into 2013.

If I've changed, why do I continue to do the things that don't work?

Answer: FEAR.


****

Trinity Esoterics

9 hrs · 

Dear Ones, there are multiple timelines that hold a multitude of experiences that you can access at any given time. If you have a deep longing or yearning for an experience, there is always a corresponding timeline that holds that experience. The fact that you have a desire lets you know that the potential exists.

You shift onto timelines through your focus, intention, surrender, and flow. This is why you cannot create what you want through negative focus or fear. Your energetic engagement with what was unwanted would keep you firmly planted on the timeline that holds that energy.

Your soul knows exactly how to move onto the timeline that will lead you into what you intend to experience. Your intention is like setting your internal GPS and your surrender and flow with faith and trust allows your energy to move into the energetic stream that takes you to your next greatest experience. It is that simple.

The beauty of all of this is that it is all available to you, you simply need to choose. And if you choose something that it turns out you do not care for, you can choose again, endlessly moving and flowing into the matches that best reflect your preferences and your next highest expression of self. It all exists for you if you can simply decide to allow your heart to lead the way into the realm of endless potential. ~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young

****

3 January 2018

He has been in my memory off and on for the last month. In the depths of my despair, when I can't sleep at night due to fear and a big empty hole in my heart, I call his higher self to have mercy on me and fill my heart with the love I know is there for me.

I was tidying up and came across an old journal from 2010 that I really ought to burn up. I had written about the time he had fallen for another girl - she was yet another woman, not the woman who was his girlfriend at the time - but his mum wouldn't let him marry her. That really hurt him and he felt the same as I felt that he didn't want to be with me. He talked about tentacles upon his heart and that  he would never forget that pain.

I read that and I swear, all that most ugly pain and death like heaviness that I had felt between 2010 - 2016 came back all in one go in that moment. I felt I was going to DIE a painful death. I cried a huge amount after that. A friend told me it's not about him, it's another core issue about rejection and abandonment and that all stems from childhood as well as other experiences I am sure.

After all this time, my parents both behave as though I am not really their daughter. They just do not have the capacity to show me the love they don't feel for themselves and never got.

He just reminds me of how many times I have failed in human relationships and in missing the simplicity of having a sincere friend.

This single mattress of mine feels very, very empty these days.

I don't want him back, I want someone who appreciates me and truly loves me and has basic respect for people. Just for the sake of their being people. For that man would be better than I am. He would not judge others harshly.

But I don't allow myself to be with anyone. The hurts are too deep, the self judgements are there. I am not proud of what my current life looks like. I have gained an immense amount of weight especially over the last 5 years. Replacing my nonexistent sex life with food, replacing lack of love with food. Sugar. Chocolate. Anything, really.

When I went on the underground last Saturday to attend my cousin's wedding, there was a beautiful bearded Muslim guy on the Met line. Arab or Pakistani or something, fair skin. But that day was really bad for me since my week at work had been so rubbish. I was just making sure I could feel my toes and focusing on being in my body. I didn't have time for anybody, although I was attracted to him.

I can sometimes tell when someone is interested in me sexually. There is a special heat that begins to emanate from them into my field. If they are staring at me, it makes me feel uncomfortable and then I don't wish to engage. I mean, I don't know if I am prejudging everyone or if my intuition is becoming very refined, but I know none of them are Sufi and awakened to the level that would be right for me.

You can't pick people up on public transportation. That's not the Sufi way! That's not a gentile way either.

Now my health is revolting, and so is my body.

I feel small and ashamed at being so overweight, as I know how long it takes to slim down, and that too only when you exercise regularly and have a happy balance.

Along with the EFT and hypnosis, I will have to begin fasting to cut on the calories I take in.
I still haven't done it, fasting is very difficult for me to do. Even when it's "khuda ke liye".

I finished watching one of Mahira Kahn's Pakistani films Mann Ho Jaahaan. I wonder had I somehow remained her friend, would her higher frequency rub off on me. Probably not. She's becoming a really good actress now. And the fact she made her Shahrukh Khan fantasy happen, with a  really GOOD movie as well, just shows how much of her power is within her field.

I wonder what is this twin flame torture.

At the minute, we both don't want to have anything to do with the other.

And yet, today, and yesterday when I look out the window, tired at the fact I'm in a dead-end job, pushing paper and data rather than dancing or creating something that would expand my intellect and my soul, I think of him as a means to distract me, as a means to comfort me.

I see his dark brown eyes.

I hear his voice.

I read an article about how the twin flame's higher self can help you to find a suitable life partner who would be similar to the twin, but NOT the twin if it wasn't meant to be.

So, guess what I did? I asked and I ask his higher self to help me out help me clear the blocks to meeting a kind soulmate who could stand to be with me. He would have to be stronger than even my spiritual cousin, who isn't strong enough to handle my energy and my personality. Or willing. You can be strong enough, but have no desire to. I always forget that aspect.

Anyway, I'm going through the darkness of the souls again. There's so much darkness, it leaks out like oil upon the ocean. Killing all sea life.

It's due to not remembering how it is to be joyful. And being dead inside and heavy.

But the moment others remember their light, it will get easier for me.

Rather than my being the first person to shift the paradigm, I know that wasn't quite accurate. I allow others to do it, and I'll walk through their tracks, because it's easier that way.

And that's why I no longer have a twin flame. It wasn't the right role for me. I'm not that advanced.

I still need to learn how to be happy for others, how to make my life work.

I spent 8 days at home, weak and unable to do anything for myself except sleep and push myself to do laundry.

Powerful people do not do this. And those close to God definitely do not do this.

They also don't resent other people their happiness. And they don't continually give others their power, which I do with a regularity that truly frightens me because it exposes my weaknesses and frailties.

They do help people in other countries, such as Iraq, Syria, Turkey.

So, there is a lot to reflect upon.

Sending solstice blessings | Curated post

We join together on December 21 to celebrate the solstice.

I have been receiving so many communications from people all over the world. We all knew the planet was going through a huge initiation. And initiations are designed to be perilous to wear down the ego, mind, and body so that we awaken our inner spiritual fire that already knows how to create the necessary changes for all of life to survive. But what so many spiritual practitioners are realizing is that no matter how much spiritual work we are all doing we will be riding turbulent waves and going through the initiation together.

In my January 2018 Transmutation News on www.sandraingerman.com I wrote (not yet posted) about the issue of many of us in the spiritual community wanting to see a “win” on moving through the current challenges we all face everywhere in the world. The true nature of initiations is more like preparing a slow cooked meal.

We cannot use the power of our mind or physical body to muscle through to the next evolution of consciousness.

Depending on where you live you are flowing into winter or summer. And nature is such a great teacher about how to flow with change. For everything in nature is in constant movement. Storms, seasons, lunar cycles, and growth impact our life on a daily basis. And once we connect with nature’s flow we connect with our own internal flow and walk moving gracefully with the flow of life.
This solstice spend time in nature, and see if you can awaken your own inner flow. Spending time in nature is so healing to you and all of life as you feed the web of life with your dreams, love, and light.
You can drum, rattle, chant, and dance. But most of all be present to the gift that nature brings to you every minute of your waking life.

Feel the sun shining on your face. If the sun is not out and shining brightly imagine the warmth of the sun bringing a glow to your face. Share your gratitude with the living being we call Sun. Reach down and feel the texture of the earth you are standing on. Stand for awhile on the earth swaying or gently rocking back and forth as you find your inner flow connecting with earth where you live. Give thanks for all Earth provides for you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Bless the wind as it caresses you. Thank Air for bringing you life and being an ongoing companion with each breath in and out. If you can visit a body of water please do so. If not work with water in your home. Radiate your inner light to any water you can be with. You can radiate light focusing on a bowl of water and then feed it to a local body of water or to the earth. Planet Earth is a water planet, and you are a being of water too. Water flows within and without effortlessly always in the flow of movement of returning to Source – the great sea. You would not be alive without water. Please give Water your heartfelt thanks.
As you do this notice how your body connects to the change in season. The change impacts our inner and outer world.

We will all continue to experience the dissolving of so many layers of old unhealthy patterns and ways of behaving in the world. But you will always be able to trust your inner spirit to hold you and propel into a new and healthy state.

The key is to keep diving deeper into your own inherent strength. As you continue your ceremonial work and your spiritual practices you will notice organic changes over time. The organic next stage of our process will happen over time. We must be willing to understand what we planted in our inner and outer garden that have come to fruition. It is time for us to return to our destiny of being great gardeners within and without on this great Earth. Take the time to examine your inner garden and explore what you seeds you need plant to nurture and love yourself. And then explore what seeds you need to plant to nurture all of life and the Earth. Watching gardens grow through both storms and beautiful weather is inspiring. Gardens grow organically.

The only changes we will see in our inner and outer world are due to the seeds that you plant and nurture. And all gardeners know that growth happens in an organic process in the right time for the plant to germinate and blossom into great beauty.

Whether you are in entering into winter or summer there are always ways to nurture your inner garden. Disconnect from the toxic energies being spewed into the collective. Listen to some soothing music and travel within. That is where you will find peace, rich soil to plant in, and the fire of spirit will light your way. This is such an important practice for all of us to do right now. For spirit will guide us if you let it lead. But most of us are trying to think our ways out of the challenges we are facing. And for tens of thousands of years those who have come before us have taught that by awakening your inner fire you can walk through any challenge.

May you find inner peace by resting in your spirit as we welcome in the solstice. And may we greet each day with curiosity and wonder of all the beauty we can plant into our collective while what no longer serves us dissolves away just like waves dissolve away all the old images, feelings, debris left in the sand. Nothing is permanent. Remember that. Trust yourself. Your spirit knows. Go deeper and you will find all you are searching for lies within.

Sending solstice blessings!
  
Sandra Ingerman

a spiritual journey has nothing to do with living a triggered-free existence

 

"When it’s not against the rules to be hurt, heartbroken, or irritated by the unconsciousness of others, you’ll be surprised to notice how less often unconsciousness triggers you. As long as your goal is to not be triggered, you are unknowingly moving away from your true nature of innocent vulnerability. When this occurs, you are bound to discover more tumultuous circumstances to blame for the reactions that no one was ever born to control. No matter how desperately you attempt to control your experience, you are bound to recognize the fact that a spiritual journey has nothing to do with living a triggered-free existence. Instead, it is an inward journey home that is fueled by how willing you are to recognize each precious reaction, as an opportunity to love in yourself what is being transformed throughout the hearts of all." 
- Matt Kahn

You become more focused on your own individual paths | curated post

 

 

Dear Ones, as you continue along your enlightenment journey and understand that the process is about stepping into your authentic power and coming home to your own divine mastery, the way you help people will change.

Rather than repeatedly rescuing others, or telling them what to do, you will begin encouraging others to step into their own power and mastery by connecting with their own truth and wisdom. You will honour their decisions and choices as completely capable souls that are experts on their own path. You will know when to step forward to help if they ask for assistance and need an extra hand, but as soon as they can find their own balance you will release them to their own capable care. You will encourage them to make decisions based on what feels right and empowered for them.

This will profoundly shift the way you interact with others, as well as how you parent, teach, and inspire others. This will help create healthier connection because you will be a safe person to connect with due to your unconditional love, encouragement, and acceptance. This will support healthier boundaries and growth for all. Because you are no longer interfering or enabling, resentments will heal. What is accepted as love will shift into much healthier expressions of caring and support.

As you start to recognize each other as sovereign beings, regardless of how you may be expressing yourselves at any given time, you start to feel freer to express yourselves and move beyond judgment. You become more focused on your own individual paths, and yet are completely willing to step forward in loving service if it is required in times of crisis. You embrace the flow and intuitively step forward or back in whatever ways are for everyone’s highest good. This is the embodiment of becoming guides on earth.

~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young

Trinity Esoterics

11 hrs ·