Love brings up anything unlike itself | Curated Post

 Sophie Bashford

"Love brings up anything unlike itself." - ACIM

And so, when the Light comes - however it comes - what you have been avoiding, running from, pushing down, numbing, and denying…surfaces.

When the Light comes, it unearths all your fear.

It starts to work on the barriers you have created to avoid accepting your own power.
It brings up everything you wish to avoid looking at.

The myriad ways you allow your ego to control you. The critical, harsh and judgemental voice that convinces you of your inherent unworthiness, your weakness, your failures, your lack of significant meaning in the world.

What difference could you possibly make? Surely it's too risky to put yourself out there and charge the world up with your unbridled and unguarded love?

When the Light comes, it brings up everything that you are at the deepest core of your Soul-Being.
This is a painful experience for many.

It proves to you instantly that you have been settling for far less than your Soul desires.
You may have been pretending that a life of mediocre purpose, mediocre interaction, mediocre connection, mediocre intimacy - is enough.

Mediocrity is not the vibration that you were born to accept.

You are not here to dumb yourself down and follow the herd.
You are here to champion and re-claim a deeper relationship with life.

You are here to connect Soul to Soul with everyone - not ego to ego.

You are here to remember how to be intimate with soul energy, how to hold the heart of another in your hands with compassion and truth, how to create relationships that deeply heal, nurture and revive the spirit.

When the Light comes, it brings up first all the ways in which you have been dancing on the edge of your truth.

You will have to face yourself.

When the Light penetrates, it will reveal everything that is not true.
Light is Truth.
Light is also Love.

The Love reveals where your Soul has been suffocating. At first, you may feel more suffocated as the pain of how you deny your Soul surfaces.

Your ego or personality may react by vehemently defending it's fearful position, it's dogmatic hold on you, it's need to keep you limited.

You, have let the Light in.

You have handed over your life, even if you don't know it, to a Higher Source of wisdom.
This Light is working through you constantly in ways that you don't always perceive.

One day, everything may fall apart, blow up in your face, or become so unbearable that you eventually confess your heart's truth. It becomes all at once too exhausting and impossible to keep all this moving energy inside. It becomes too toxic to remain drowning in the grip of your fear, and the choices you have made from that place of fear.

The Light is here. It has come to lead you firmly to where you belong.
The Light illuminates the darkness and it also holds the keys to lasting freedom. It is everything that you have always been searching for. It is inside you, and yet you had forgotten. It is here for you, and yet you believed you had lost it forever.

It is all you need, because it is the answer to everything.
You are in the Light today.
Say nothing, unless you are guided by the Light.
Do nothing, unless you are guided by the Light.

Let the Light show you where you are most needed, and what is the highest choice for you.
Let the Light unearth your fears, in order to provide the perfect ways to heal them.
When the Light comes, there is nowhere left for you to remain small, mediocre or powerless.
When the Light comes, the music of your Soul begins to play again, and it is irresistible.

The Light brings up what is often painful to face - all that you have been denying, avoiding, resisting and pushing down - and yet the surfacing of this pain is the greatest signal available that soul-rocking growth is about to occur.

- Sophie Bashford

We shall redeem ourselves, bit by bit

May we all find our way. The super full moon tomorrow night is a very powerful one, dredging up a lot of emotions and old things to be released.

Trust that you are beautiful, loved and connected to the divine at all times.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes, as well as those of others.

There will come a time when we will have peaceful nights and rolling waves. Right now, the water is a bit choppy.

Watch your thinking patterns and ask for the rigid and limiting beliefs to dissolve and for them to be replaced with the best possible beliefs about God, yourself and the way life is.

Take every setback and every miscommunication as a gift from the Divine.

Pray. Pray some more. Make time for silence. Your soul has been craving for connection, yet your reluctance to be enveloped in Divine Love makes you shy away from yourself and your heart.

Your big, beautiful heart that loves so much, it would make 70 mothers weep.

I bid farewell to all the attachments of yore. I bid farewell to the old mangled version of who I am and what I could have been. All the yearning and craving I have done this year for things out of my reach, may I integrate the learnings. May we all integrate.

There is such peace and tranquillity to be had within a soul, within the mind and the heart. There are many words to be spoken, written, drawn, danced out.... Everything has a divine origin. Everyone was created from a divine spark.

I have to leave those of us who can't yet continue onwards on the journey. I made the mistake again of staying behind in order to keep connected.

But we all are always connected.

May I personally be able to prostrate upon the sands of Kerbala soon, when the timing is right. May I also have my Lightbody activations done with the right soul. May I be able to leave behind all that just isn't who I am and create all that I wish to create with love, grace, joy and ease.

"When the awakening comes, as it will to all of God's children, it may come as a ray of hope, a flash of intuition or a life-saving warning. Then shall woman kneel and face the Lord with humility, acceptance and love. To recognise the God within, and be a one and in harmony with that vibration is the goal of all........" 16-7 activation transmission 

Light a candle, light some incense and burn all of it away.

Renew.

We each are reborn and each die every night, to be reborn again.

 There are those whom I love and whose presence and smiles I miss, and that is okay.

We move on to a new assignment, a new place. The deal is sealed here. We are complete, mission is complete. The earth is vast and ever welcoming to those who ask for a new place to call "home".
New grid-points need activating and new soul tribe members to be met.

We shall redeem ourselves, bit by bit.

- Sukaina Juma
12/11/2016

Why Men Withdraw Emotionally : Curated Article

This is a curated article from Elephant Journal. I chose to do this because it really is a beautifully written and very expressive piece of work.

As we may not be aware of, the divine feminine is rising and the divine masculine is decluttering the old patriarchal way of being.

We need to learn to be truly compassionate and caring as all of this unravels. It's hardly ever "pretty".

I will however add my own theory that it is no easier for women to access their emotions than men. Emotional intelligence has nothing to do with sex or gender. Women may have an ancestral, genetic advantage in this department, however I know from my own personal experience that it has been so difficult for me to relate emotionally to people and to myself.

I was always the "cry baby" as a child, and so I stopped my tears and swallowed them all in from a very young age, creating a series of dysfunctional thought patterns, belief and behaviours as a result. Anger is an emotion that few Muslim families, and in my experience East African Asian families, tolerate well in young females, and that is another emotion of mine that has been suppressed and I am working on at the moment.

Emotional intelligence is something that is both learned and also some have an innate capacity to thrive in that area, others do not.

I, for one, know of a few men who are way advanced in their emotional intelligence than I anticipate to be for a while. They may have more of a divine female/sacred masculine balance inside themselves. The interesting commonality amongst them are that they all have been brought up in a balanced Islamic way, they all married early on in life to women they obviously loved and they have children.

This is not to say, of course, that is all that contributed to their emotional awareness, as one of them meditates regularly. However, in my narrow sphere of social contacts, this is what I have observed. I am excited to meeting more people to see what other commonalities they might have (apart from all of them being very beautiful healers in the very real sense of the term - they give a lot of love generously.)

A male or masculine body does not automatically equal that energetically, and vice versa.

A woman can have a lot of testosterone in the system (and there will be other psychological and energetic causes) and energetically come across as very masculine and unable to process emotions accordingly.

With all those little additions of mine, this is an article I really needed to come across today, as I am now meeting men with whom I am reconnecting with or making new friendships with and they all seem extremely eloquent online.

Because my intention is to have friendships and relationships that last the long term, I need to understand how to interact with the human male species.

And maybe even go out on a few dates here and there, without my entire nervous system going into panic mode due to very extreme and painful past experiences!

****

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/02/why-men-withdraw-emotionally/

Why Men Withdraw Emotionally
Via Keith Artisan
on Feb 3, 2014

In a relationship, having your partner withdraw at an emotional level can bring confusion, pain and frustration.

Women who relate to men that do this are often bewildered by why and how this happens.
Speaking as a man, and one who considers himself sensitive and emotionally available, there are particular situations and scenarios that cause me to withdraw. And I imagine that other men, regardless of how in-tune they are with their emotional nature, would respond in similar ways.

Just because a man withdraws does not mean he is withdrawing from you.

First, I just wanted to express that when a man seeks solace or withdraws from a conversation, it probably has nothing to do with the beloved. It has more to do with the emotional intensity and confusion around emotions than with any particular person. It just takes men more time to integrate and understand the watery realm of emotions. And understanding emotions isn’t something that happens for us spontaneously in the midst of a heated discussion.

We need space and time to figure out what is happening, both within our own self and with our beloved.

Men have been discouraged from feeling emotional. We have been mocked, attacked, and belittled when showing emotions. Big boys don’t cry, toughen up, and bite the bullet are all phrases men grow up with. So when we are faced with emotional situations, we are total novices.







The biggest harm that is not recognized or appreciated for the depth of damage that it causes at the emotional level to a man is that men are expected to be tough, to protect, and kill to defend their family. Violence, and the expectation of violence, mandates an absence of emotional sensitivity.

It is a double standard to expect a man to be emotionally available and to have him be able to harm another human being.

Have compassion and understand the kind of conundrum that a man faces when being emotional vulnerable and awakening to deeper sensitivities. It is rare enough to find a man who wants to delve within and unleash his inner passion. It doesn’t mean that he is going to be masterful at it. For men to be comfortable in their own skin and accept their feeling nature takes a growth curve.

A woman has a lifetime of experience navigating the oceanic tides of emotional states.

Women grow up with emotional states and are accepted as sensitive, feeling beings. She is able to observe, feel, recognize and better communicate her feelings than a man. Women are also adept at observing and recognizing the emotional states in other people. And when a woman finds a man who loves her, at some level, she feels a great deal of hope because she has found an emotional match, somebody who understands those hidden tides and influences.

Women will share all their heart and feelings, and not understand how this can impact a man. And when a man doesn’t respond as she needs, the feelings of being hurt or misunderstood arise. How those feelings are expressed matter a great deal.

The best men want an intimate connection with women, and often don’t know how to do that.

Men don’t fall short in the emotional realm because we are emotionally immature. We are emotionally inexperienced. Men face expectations and pressure about emotions that are confusing and contradictory. And when we find a woman who loves us and we love in return, it brings to life a living fire that had been suppressed for a lifetime. Yet fires burn, and the burgeoning sensitivities is akin to a child learning to walk. We fall down, we make blunders, and we are blind as to how to listen and communicate our emotions.

Men experience a learning curve when awakening to their deepest sensitivities.

And just as any beginner, they make mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes are colossal, and sometimes laughable. Men need an emotional example, how to be live with and operate with emotions in a healthy way. We also need to be accepted as we are, beginners with beautiful intention. To demand for a man to have the mastery over their emotions is an outrageous expectation. For most men, mastery over emotions means suppressing them, hiding feelings behind a mask of stoicism, or just turning off the emotions entirely. It takes time to even identify the subtle emotions, let alone to know how they function and their influence on our own self and those around us.

Any teacher knows that mocking a beginner or putting them down, criticizing them or their approach, will stunt the learning curve, if not completely stopping it.

The beloved woman becomes that guide into the mysterious realms of feeling emotions. When she expresses anger, puts down her man, belittles or mocks him, a man feels attacked. When she demands him to be sensitive, a man feels not good enough.

And when a man faces a womans wrath he will respond in the ways he has been taught to feel emotions since early childhood ; with anger. Anger is one of the few emotions accepted in men because it is a necessary emotion to be a soldier-killer. Anger is a natural defensive response for men. And once we become angry with our beloved, there is a host of problems that arise afterwards. Guilt, shame, inadequacy, failure, and fear. These siblings to anger are inevitable when fury shows its face, especially when we know that our loved one has been hurt as a result of our anger.

The words spoken in anger harm the recipient and the speaker.

It takes time for a man to feel comfortable feeling emotions. After all, such a man is challenging the tenets and pressure of an entire society and its deeply ingrained training.

A man’s natural response when hurt or confused is to withdraw. Almost everybody knows about the masculine need to retreat to the cave. And whether this is physical space, or mental space, or even silence, the cave is an essential healing tool for the manly mind. The cave allows integration of the experience, introspection to see what is happening within, and understanding to know how to better respond in the future.

Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.

When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship. A well meaning man will appreciate this and do his best, and grow faster and reveal the depths of his spirit with increasing strength and confidence.

Granted, the ideal is that a man can figure out his emotional state and come into his own emotional maturity through his own self-generated willpower. Yet the reality is that teachers, guides and mentors accelerate this process and help a person navigate the confusing and mysterious realms of emotions. There are a great many pitfalls and bewildering mirages when it comes to the shifting sands of sensitivities. And as man learns his emotional state, he is also facing the additional challenges from his friends, family, and world that challenges that awakening at every step.
The woman who is insecure with her own emotions will see a man who withdraws as a threat and denigrate him and go on the attack. This is the antithesis of supportive behavior.

She may not realize that he is a man who is brave beyond measure to face his own soul and bare his spirit with vulnerable trust. When a man doesn’t respond as she needs and demands at the emotional level, lashing out will only cause harm. Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship. One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture.
Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or run. The flight or fight response is deeply ingrained into every human being. In essence, attacking a man who is opening his heart will trigger a survival level instinct. Once that survival level power fully awakens in relationship, the dynamics in the relationship changes and may never come back to equilibrium.

Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve. Be patient.

Just as a tree takes time to come into its fullness and blossom, a man who is learning to embrace his deeper truths will need time to fully ripen into his potential.

Appreciate the men who take the time to stand up against society to discover, feel, live and unleash their sensitive side. It takes a lion’s heart full of courage to face down societal expectations and programmed beliefs. Give him gratitude, honor his spirit, thank him for being available with his sensitivity in ANY way that he is able.

Such a person is one of a kind, a warrior in the truest meaning of the word.

stardust in some form or other

One can never truly make Spirit a commodity of the few or chosen ones. The minute we do that, we have truly created a false God for ourselves.

How can one compartmentalise something as grand as the multidimensional soul, which even the most ascetic amongst us still struggle to understand?

Every soul will experience all aspects of life so differently.

The same event is experienced by each of us in our unique cells and neurons as uniquely ours.
Someone told me today that her experience has been that almost everyone she loved had left her or she had to leave them. I smiled and refused my ego the satisfaction of adding any opinions.

If you wish to be awakened and enlightened by age such and such, you're going to lose a lot of stuff along the way. You will need to accept that at some point you will be stripped of your identity entirely.

You WILL lose yourself.

And gain more in its place.

Right now, there are people who are activating some really old stuff inside of me that has remained dormant. I cry, I cancel plans, my body aches, I feel the cords releasing, my vision is going funny, I am talking a lot of what I consider to be redundant rubbish.

We surrender each time to this confusion, this confused, majnoon state.

Because the Creator requires us to Burn in His fires of devastation in order to purify.

Fire always purifies, as does water, earth, sun and moon.

 There will come a time when we all will give up our artifices and really understand that to make Spirit a commodity is doing our own souls a great injustice, as is submitting ourselves to lives and experiences that no longer reflect the grandeur of our Beingness.

We must stop repeating the saints or teachers of old, what they said to us three years ago, or 600 years ago.

The truth is the same, yet it needs your own experience to validate it.
Anything else is false until proven true.

Not all of us shut down entirely when challenged. I do.
Not all of us forget the truths and the love when reminded. I do.
Not all of us repeat the same mistakes over and over until we feel like used up and ground husks of rye. I do.

Yet - all of us have such a grand honour of entire annihilation.

Well, in due time, we all will. There is a time, a lock that is ready to be picked.

Nothing ever occurs before the exact destined time.

Nothing.

As Hussain said, even your next morsel of food is destined before birth, so why concern and fret over what is assuredly yours? What is not yours, no matter how you force it - whether is be a relationship, an enlightenment, a better word, a drop of drinking water when your well is dry - not destined, may never happen.

Continuous surrender and continuous reminders of What We Truly Are.

We all are stardust in some form or other
mingled with the grains of this earth
in order to transmute and make
alchemy into gold.

Step back, and command yourself to step forward now as the star beings that you are.

The time is always now. Always. Please, we need you to wake up. We truly do. We have waited ever so long for us to purify as the first wave, so we could somewhat guide the second wave.

Come over to the Light and Love side.... we have special cookies

- Sukaina Juma
3/11/2016

Forgiveness Is Almost Complete

No matter how many people's worlds fall apart in front of your eyes
And no matter how many people tell you they are afraid
Always know they are being helped
And take a few steps back, pause, ask if you are needed.

If you are still plugging holes in your own void, there is no way in hell your energy will help them.
Your words will fall flat and it will seem that both of you wasted a lot of time.

But even when you make those mistakes that harm your soul, if somehow your care and love relieved their burden for a few minutes. then it was God's appointment. There was no one else at the time, so you were chosen.

But always give them their burdens back. Or give the burdens to God.

Do not carry with them into your heart, so that you lose your sleep.
Most of us know this by now, there is just one person this is an instruction to...
The best instruction is that done in silence and in remembrance of the dust that is the humble vessel of the magnificent Soul....
There are lessons in speaking our truths - for each and every one of us.
There are lessons in forgetting the truths we once knew - for each of us.

For me, this avatar known as Sukaina, I have to make peace with learning and understanding in my core that I died when I was 18 and was not given a manual to activate. At 33, I still do not have that manual due to my state being similar for the last ten years.

We die every night. We must intend to die every night. For if we don't, we carry the residue of our meagre selves with us. We remember things we were better off forgetting.
We maintain attachments out of fear and lack of understanding.
There is great freedom in dying to ourselves every night, every day, every breath....
We were not created nor were we incarnated to remain imprisoned.

Not in this era.

It is so difficult and yet, when you die with every breath, you surrender that part of you that has obscured Your Light from You.

Your eyes see better, your breast doesn't have the urge to hold convictions and defend them to the death.

Other people's happy endings mean more to you than your own. When another's successes are as satisfying to you as your own, you know you have succeeded a little more in dissolving.

You look at the state of your own existence, to every single obstacle and failing and say, "Praise be to the Creator Who has ensured that I face such obstacles."
 
You die. You do die. It is just a matter of when and how.

There are parts that continue to fight.
There are parts that are still feeling the void.
Within everything, there is such a sweet lesson that it breaks my heart and tears fall upon the cheeks in silence.

So much ugliness and beauty. So much separation and connection.

One day I feel as though all odds are against me
Another day, people are being catalysed once again beyond my intentions.
There truly is only power when the divine is allowed to take over.
And when there is stuckness, that has to be accepted as another form of spiritual training.
At some point, balance will be maintained forever.


But the soul must be allowed to express itself, within the sacred boundaries. To refuse any soul their expression is to deny them their grace. Even when it is something you would rather not hear.
Walk away, bow your head - the words will miss you.

For only the souls who are still in separation are aware of it. If you feel that the sacred soul in front of you is somehow in need of poking and prodding, make sure you double check the soul contract first.

For none of us are truly free from the mistakes of correcting another. It is such an old pattern that the helpers within us carry.

Sight is granted organically, hearing is too.

We can only share our own experiences, all of which can never truly be experienced by anyone other than us. Just ask for light and for relief. It is granted. It is always granted.

Even when you asked for a challenging life.

Nothing is static and all existences are now.
Tap into the ease and the self love and empowerment.
The body, the mind, the money issues will all heal.

You may need to allow your heart to grieve again, though. That was a divine bond that was interfered with and then ruthlessly cut away.
 

Forgiveness is almost complete, but not entirely.

- Sukaina Juma
1/11/2016

I dwell within the Silence...

"I am the voice speaking softly.
I exist from the first.
I dwell within the Silence,
Within the immeasurable Silence.
I descended from the midst of the Underworld
And I shone down upon the darkness.
It is I who poured forth the Water.
I am the One hidden within Radiant Waters…
I am the image of the Invisible Spirit.
I am the Womb that gives shape to the All.
By giving birth to the Light that shines in splendor."

Gnostic Text, Trimorphic Protennia

During Our Difficult Times

'O Soul of mine
You have been born free
Yet you incarnated onto a planet
Enslaved
And you therefore have taken upon you
many faces and roles that you assumed
You needed in order to survive on this
Somewhat hostile planet

Every time you feel you may have found a friend
They fail you. It is just a mirror.
For you must have failed yourself or another as well.
They are your most Beloved teachers
Showing you all the ways in which you express yourself
And are still unaware of it.

Every time you feel you may have created peace
The opposite also occurs.

Every time to speak up for the truth, whether it be yours
Or someone else's
You are sometimes silenced
As much by the positivity of your fellow lightworkers
As you are by the darkness of those who fear the Light.
The more you seek to speak that truth that you hid for aeons
The more others wish to shut it down with their own truths.
This is something we must accept.

You haven't even stepped up to your true life's calling and feel slighted.
Your skin needs to be thickened even more
Your soul must be purified even more, so that all the past mishaps are no longer repeated.

Was the auspiciousness of this era on Earth
Worth all the crap?
To the point it leaves you so bereft of energy and life
You can't even think of an eloquent synonym for crap?'

For many, this year has been a relief of the years of crazy energetics pounding this earth of ours. For me, it has been a sliver of light after many years of darkness. And yet, this year has also shown me how much is predestined.

Matt Kahn says as much, that what if everything is predestined and the free will is how you respond to things? I agree with that point. It makes life feel less constrictive.

In the last month, I have set intentions and cleared my energy. I have gone to energy healings and did my best to maintain connections with people I felt understood me. I was working temporarily in an enrolments office and did my best to set intentions of service and healing.

And today, I've realised that I've made many errors at work that have very real repercussions on people's lives, as well as a monetary and reputational cost for the organisation. I have been humiliated and verbally abused on the telephone. The connections I've attempted to maintain just haven't worked out. My body was in pain from the commute and my personal life became non-existent.

You just accept that this is how it is.

During our difficult times, little can make sense. There has always been a fine line between my acceptance of life being the crapfest is sometimes is and resignation that it will always be this same crapfest.

I have noticed that my spiritual awakening is very erratic.

I constantly fall back asleep, and then I experience life from a very constrained lens, and the people in my life behave extremely bizarrely. In this year of 2016, I have had to stay in a workplace that was killing my confidence and my soul, then remain unemployed and humiliated for a long period of time. I felt intense anger and pain at the betrayal of a so-called spiritual teacher who has, as  lot of them may have done, taken bits and pieces from the font of wisdom and sold it to others for great profit.

Even now, I am writing this but I have had to let go of the identification of being this amazing writer. The only publisher I felt might be willing to publish me has also gone on another path and not even responded to my last messages. I am sure this is leading me to a more suitable life experience for  me, if I but only knew.

I have finished a one month internship position as an administrator at SOAS; it too has left my nerves in shock. I never realised that my presence is enough to make people's content come up. No matter how many intentions, shields, blue light, angels I call upon, never seems to work in the densest parts of central London.

And now I sit here, in a library that ought to be quiet save for a beautiful soul who has been throwing books, papers and plastic bags around for the last 30 minutes, and I write this.

I am having cold-like symptoms which have lowered my productivity, I have woken up from dreams about all the mistakes I unintentionally made at work, I ruminate over the videos of bloodshed and crying children in Yemen, Lebanon, Syria, etc. I look at videos of the state of water in areas where fracking is doing great business.

I also observe the comments I receive on my Facebook updates expressing my frustration about Starbucks and how people I thought were clued in still give them money. I've been told to let live.

It makes me smile inside, that wise, old part of me when I experience these things.

For years, I never was allowed to speak because I feared my wrath, the intense nature of my anger. There is a lot in the world I do not agree with and, at that time, I would just let rip and attack everyone verbally for being "wrong" and "evil".

Now I am aware of my own darkness and my own looming shadows and frequently attempt to jump timelines and reset who I am because it is not fair on me to remain in that old hologram when everyone else gives themselves freedom to change and morph.

Yet, the ones I wish to impact, the ones I wish would see me for my light and loving nature and purity, they have filters that block it from them. They are stingy in their acknowledgement. They tell me things that are new to them, yet I perhaps have already experienced. All this teaches me is to remain humble and never underestimate another person's experiences. no matter how they behave with you, I need to remain in a high state of mind instead of wishing to do the Scorpio Moon thing and lash out.

In all seriousness, if I find the response to this post is harmful to me, and I feel I have to edit this piece I have written and published, I actually will. I might pull the entire article if need be. If my energy still attracts critics and people who never contemplate or allow someone to just express themselves without the need for feedback, so be it.

I am so very tired of pretending to be less spiritual than I am, less connected that I wish to be, less aware and awake than I am. I am so tired of following what the content marketing course told me to be. Blog consistently: once a week at least, and then stick to that regime. That is the way you keep your followers and build traction online.

What about caveats for spiritual dark nights of the soul, major karmic and ego cleansing and a regression into profound depression?

Where is the inclusivity in that?

Did Keats or James Joyce or T.S. Eliot ever have a reliable writing schedule? Perhaps. But I do not!

Sometimes people write for the immense pleasure of writing. Of expression.

We aren't here to sell you gold and glamour of this earthly plane.
We aren't here to make millions through nonsensical stocks and online marketing schemes.

We came here in purity, in service. This earth isn't even our real home.

We came here to awaken ourselves first (because we thought it would be fun) ...and then you all were meant to awaken in our stead - the critical mass, the ripple effect.

Some of us aren't as successful as we had hoped we would be. I am hardly as successful. My words are still furiously misinterpreted and I either attract opinions from religiously programmed souls who wish to impress upon me I am a woman and must cover myself, whilst quoting Hafez and Rumi in the same breath.

Or I have people telling me how crappy my karma is, how my personal objections to how Starbucks and M&S promote the violence and injustice to the world are judgemental and how I really I ought to live and let live.

All I can do is laugh softly to myself. Sardonically, I will admit, but I am as much shadow as I am light.

You can't win, can you?

Maybe I've come to the point I just can't expend any more energy caring about what other people think or say.

All I care about is seeing children covered in blood and crying (or not crying) as their cities and lives and buildings are destroyed by maniacs who rule countries for power and greed. This should NEVER be allowed to continue, YET IT CONTINUES.

I don't care if this too is the balancing out of karma. I know what happened in this area during the holy sacred month of Muharram and the day of Ashura and the aftermath. It is the descendants paying the price.

Still. It needs to stop. Karma can always be balanced in a way that is full of grace and mercy.

These "leaders" have no remorse or humility in their eyes. And yet we still allow them in the positions whereby they make decisions that affect our drinking water, our air, our food, our very sovereignty?

All I care about is knowing the truth about vaccines: do they contain implants and control mechanisms or not? A simple yes or no will suffice.

All I care about is people understand fluoride IS A POISON, non-fluoride toothpaste and reverse osmosis tap machines aren't produced on a whim and that chem trails are REAL. That we actually look up into the sky and realise this about chem trails... and then DO something about it.

All I want is some very wealthy good people to buy out Monsanto and Facebook and Microsoft so their crap can STOP. How is wanting real healthy nutritious food revolutionary or a conspiracy theory?

I have been fully deprived of knowledge of the nether realms, possibly because I get so upset I would explode it or something. I have spent years sharing what little of the truth I know with others who just will not care nor listen.

And now, even when I have quieted down and learnt that I am my own counsel, I still sometimes make the oft-repeated mistake of venting my grief on Facebook. On my own Facebook wall. And even then, there is this inherent need amongst the purest and lightest of us to comment on the rants. All I asked was the opportunity to let me just express myself and my ramblings.

---

It would seem that the energies are intense and we all are going through our difficult times.

Compassion is most needed now, as is true divine love for all the parts of me and all the days I have messed up, I have lost my temper, I have lost my mind, I have expressed my deep intense truth. For all the days my efforts were cruelly unreceived, my love was rejected, and sometimes people intentionally deceived me.

---

I do not write to collect followers or fans. I do not write to inspire or heal, as someone I recently met wants to make her mark as a spiritual teacher and was asking me for advice. I was not in the position to advise this person, she is the one who has mentors and a good life full of abundance. Her life is working. When your life is working, it is best to refrain from asking counsel of someone whose life ISN'T working. The writing will come if it is meant to. I only began writing after that sweet soul broke my ego and my heart in to many pieces in December 2010.

I write solely for me, to make sense of this messy life of mine.

I have been given a gift but it is a flawed gift. The more I use it, express myself in the rawness and holiness and depravity that is All That Is, the less appealing it is for others.

Most of my insight from five years ago has also been lost somehow. Most things in this world still do not make sense to my system. I still wish to quit everything and retreat to North India and spend a year in contemplation and meditation with the Dalai Lama. Or somewhere similar with the same ethos of devotion to the Creator in reverent and sincere prayer and meditation and clearing.

I still do not know how to create money, so that I may live in ease and joy on this planet, and not secretly hope somehow a handsome, wealthy soulmate will fall in love with me and solve all my financial problems, so I could take the courses I need to take to elevate my spiritual power.

And so one of my closest friends who has immense inner and spiritual potential and power, is still working at the supermarket I finally left. It is as though all his ambition left his soul when he was halfway through his undergraduate at Kingston University. I have been struggling for two years to ignite his fire again so he can find his way back into his true destiny, to no avail. He is my mirror, and I mirror him.

And so we both remain as we are, until something inside of us shifts forever.
---

We learn when we learn. It is all pre-destined.

---

I write because it gives me relief, the big gaping wound in my soul needs solace and, where it once used to find solace in daydreaming, sleep, cutting my wrists with a sharp blade or starvation, my sometimes tormented soul now finds some relief in expressing the pain through the gift of expression.

---

During our difficult times, I feel it is best we remain silent when we witness another falling apart or falling back into a previous version of themselves.

Who on earth are we to guide or give counsel? It may be a past life being healed, or some other aspect that is playing out, all predestined.

Anyway, if we really cared, we'd actually pick up the phone and telephone that person. If we aren't motivated to do that, and remain in comfort behind a computer or smartphone screen, then I'd venture to suggest that it is best to remain silent.

It has become too easy for us all to administer sermons via social media and typing words onto a keyboard. Distortions are everywhere, and I am not only referring to individuals. The internet has innate power and all our communications are pubic or government property.

Such a farce of a democracy and free society we live in, it pains my mind.

---

I know that I am going through another intense period of falling apart and everything I have attempted to build is once more collapsing.

Why?  I know why.

This time, I'll observe it. It is not in my control. Whether there were spiritual contracts or karmic locks or multiple and conflicting agendas, all I know is that my soul is being burned and purified.

It is much needed and I now prefer it to my ignorance and giving other people ill-placed advice.

The advice I have given in the past was then transmuted in taking away my identity multiple times, struggling to keep food on the table and live a reasonably worthy life.

---

Some people are meant to be forerunners, to argue, advocate, be full of energy and vitality. To actively stop the violence, degradation, disharmony and bloodshed and lies. To travel all the dimensions and be in full service of their Lord.

---

I incarnated this time to fall apart until I am One with the Beloved. In the most mundane sense and within the most uplifted realities.

He doesn't care how long it takes or how many hits my 3D life and personality takes.

Who knew that a lonely and solitary journey could stop tasting so bitter and have a sweetness around the edges?

---

May the Divine love and tenderness envelope our hearts, throats, eyes and ears so that all this conflict begins to dissolve.

- Sukaina Juma
12/10/2016
Day of Ashura and Yom Kippur

dew to the mangled heart

dew to the mangled heart

We none of us have the answers
Which are wrapped up in vulnerable layers
Of pain and remembrance
In each individual soul.

Sometimes, we bless ourselves with
A chance meeting in a crystal shop
Or stable, surrounded by beauty and
Angels, dropping pearls of wisdom into
One's ever grateful heart
(that's not a euphemism for answering
The call of nature, by the way).

We get a wink and a nudge,
Maybe a block of homemade fudge
And are wrapped up warm and
Sent on our way.

I don't have a desire to see ghosts,
Spirits, entities
The lovers and friends from the past
Do enough of their entrancing dance
Inside of my head and soul
Until I whimper for God's grace
To clot my bleeding heart.

We show each other our own light
Uniquely similar
We reflect their lights to them,
Some receive, others balk and
Dishonour the contracts.

When you drop your treasured green
Shamanic pi-stone and it divides
Into four equal pieces
And your personality has matured
So you let it go...

You are most likely ready to let go of
The ghosties and ghoulies invading your space.
It's time to go, fellas.
Every single one of you.

"Come, come.
Even though you have broken
Your vow a thousand times,
Still come."

Those words of a humble poet
Bring back the dew to the mangled heart
Of a Beloved.
One whose heart, mind and soul
Still lack the tranquility she craves.



Yet it is easily bestowed upon others.

~ Sukaina Juma
25.09.2015

It's Not Him I Lost - It's Me I Lost When He Left

I never thought it would take me this long to get over the man whom I count as my first love.

The interesting fact about human beings is that we can be highly intelligent and even intellectually superior on so many levels about our personal lives. We try to use our rational logic as much as we can in order to survive in this world. After all, this is all I've been taught in the western educational and training system. Of course, I am now waking up to the fact that we are now making way for emotional andspiritual intelligence. We are recognising that our empathy and our creativity will probably allow us to survive somehow the catastrophic events that we are witnessing daily.

Yet, when it comes to the most soul baring, identity stripping experiences, where does the logic even decide to come in? It arrives and stands besides you, as you agonise and ooze out all sorts of illogical emotions and cuss at the object of your desire when he rejects you.

Yes, I never met the guy in the flesh. So what? I never thought this would happen, falling in love with typed words and photographs on a computer screen. I don't plan on writing an entire novel about it. It's a non-event.

"You fell in love with someone you never met. Ahhhhhh, yes."

I met him online in August 2010 and it only seems that now after writing him two final emails in the last few weeks and my receiving two back (it is a huge reality check for me as to how fundamentally he has changed inside of himself in the last year to be that quick and civil in responding to me). I have real closure. Trouble is, I still never find the inner courage to open up his emails as soon as I see them in my inbox. They always shimmer with his light, his love and his energy and it makes me weep. I still need to build up courage to open them up a few days later.

Once, I remember, it took me two weeks before I somehow was in a neutral space to read his message to me.

I get images flashing through my mind about all the fun he is having with his partner. They travel the world, you see. Business class, you see. Cycling in the lavender fields of Marseilles and snorkeling in the clear turquoise seas somewhere nameless in the world. I HAD asked him where the photos were taken, but he was being his usual secretive self and never answered me that. So I'm guessing the Bahamas or Dominican Republic. The ocean was so clear that his dark, silky hair had made a soft crown all around his head.

My heart softens whenever I think of him and then the grief pours out in tears. For six entire years I have cried over my loss: over what I see as a stolen opportunity, as my never been given a chance to show my light and love in a relationship with someone I actually connected with so deeply.

The tears never seem to want to dry up. Neutrality and even indifference I have prayed for, yet this gullible, softening heart just cannot seem to understand those different opposite states of being.

What really hit my ego, identity or pride was what he wrote in his final email to me last week, "I never thought I would find someone perfect for me, until I met my Mrs."

It really pained me, and I started getting the thoughts back in my head about how ridiculous I was being and about how I was never good enough. To him, he was just stating the facts. For me, it seemed to say a lot about me and my flaws than it did about him and his life.

After a week, I am slightly more settled in my being. Only slightly. I still am weeping massive tears during adho mukha svasana (downward dog pose) in my yoga. To the point, the mat becomes slippery because it's so wet.

What I have never, ever understood is HOW on EARTH did I fall for someone so hard and deeply, when even I was fully aware we were not at all compatible? He is handsome and has very beautiful, expressive dark brown eyes, but so do a lot of men! His lifestyle is what I label as active, rushed, swanky and luxurious. He wears tuxedos to formal events and when I saw that photo of him at a wedding, something inside of me shuddered. It spoke of conformity and I have been doing my best to break free of that level of artifice in my own self.

I am more of a hippie, constantly seeking inner and thereafter outer freedom. So I eat simply and mostly vegetarian food sitting on the floor. I am constantly seeking my purpose and a way to make my own mark upon the world. I love to travel, we do have that in common. I'd be happy in a Buddhist temple meditating and learning or on a yoga retreat on a delicous beach, he would be trekking or touring somewhere. I also have had certain health issues that have limited my activities and ambitions for the last few years.

He never understood that, and wasn't prepared to take it on as part of his day to day life. I entirely agreed with that, but I never realised it would take me 6 years to recover and even then, not entirely.

Memories we keep in a box

And I asked myself today, "Really, Sukaina, you knew then as you know now that you guys would never be able to be together as partners. All the intense emotions, the complete blankness and inner excavation of your heart and gut that overtook you from 2010 to 2013 - yes, they all happened. He was oblivious to all of it, and had gotten married to his girlfriend by then.

So what is the real issue here? Why are you still crying over a phantom?"

I had even hit myself on the head with a blunt object until I bled when I found out he had gotten married and never even thought it would be kind to let me know when he had proposed to her. So that this stubborn and ignorant heart would stop loving him and praying for him to come back to me, to give me a chance to at least speak to him and meet him.

But what we must always hold clear is that this human existence is one that can be extremely trying to us and very confusing. What people do in one frame of mind is possibly their only recourse at the time.

We must let people go to the extremes of what is considered appropriate behaviour at times. Even and especially ourselves, as judgement doesn't suit the expansion and growth of the soul. So what was needed at the time for my growth as a person is no longer required.

At the time, to me he was the perfect person for me. I had never met anyone like him, with whom I could have a proper intelligent conversation. When we spoke, the air sizzled. My heart would beat very quickly, to the point it would physically hurt and cause breathlessness.


But that was then, in 2014. If we put aside the fact that I am yet to find someone with whom I had such a close connection with and if we put aside my current living circumstances that seem to close down on my desire to experience life as I'd like to, what is really going on here?

Why do I feel so lost, as though a part of me will never be replaced unless he is in my life somehow, in any limited capacity?

And softly, my heart responded.

"You miss yourself, not him. You lost yourself when you met him."

Mosaic of my psyche

I cannot argue with that. I just cannot.

I remember clearly that after he wrote me a few abrupt texts and decided I wasn't worth any more investment of time and energy, that version of me began dying a slow painful death.

Time slowed down and my mental functions slowed down as well. My body began hurting. I couldn't sleep at night. I kept weeping and scenes of my being run over by cars played in my mind constantly, especially when I was walking down the street. I stopped reading the books I had been reading and I stopped drawing mandalas. I still haven't drawn a mandala in six years, whereas before meeting him I drew them very frequently to help me calm my manic mind and the anxieties.

Courtesy Emmanuel Dagher

The person I was when I first met him and interacted with him is not the person I am now. She was naive and gullible as hell, and very sweet and childish. Extremely introverted, she lived her entire life through her imagination, books and film. She had complicated emotional issues as well and was still very disassociated from her entire body and being.

She didn't know how to interact with a man in a romantic capacity, since he was the first person to ever show serious interest and she had had a very sheltered upbringing. She was so shy, she told him to wait for a month before they spoke on the phone. And when they spoke, she had become so angry at him because he wasn't replying to her texts as frequently as she would have liked that he hung up on her after five minutes.

The words wouldn't formulate in her mouth. She felt intimidated and scared by him as a result of the intensity of the attraction. It was an effort to pretend to be a regular human being in front of him, when her entire body and mind had fallen in upon themselves.

It was around the time she met him that her dark night of the soul began, and everything fell apart. I mean, everything. No interests, no life goals, little sleep, little confidence, and the two things she prided herself on: her intelligence and her writing, they all dwindled into nothingness.

She stopped writing, the words wouldn't formulate... and she stopped making sense.

She cried a lot, and sought solace in New Age spirituality. She went to healing workshops which focussed on clearing past life contracts and relationships and learned that 80% of the energy, beliefs and thoughts in her energy field and pores were not even hers. She learned about epigenetic research, spiritual cords and how when you are obsessed by someone, it is because of the unhealthy cording in your solar plexus and that the cording is hooked into a core belief that needs healing.

She became even more of an alien to herself.

Her parents couldn't make sense of the new version of her she was becoming and attacked through their words and actions. He friends stayed as long as they could until something about her heaviness put them off so much, they left as well.

The funny thing is, she could see all of this as clear as day. And just couldn't shift it.

Black dog, Winston Churchill used to call it. I called mine Barney, so as to make him ridiculous. I couldn't laugh at it much. Still can't, to be honest.

That was then. She survived the cold, empty, loud nights by buying a battery operated Alan Titchmarsh second hand radio from a local knick knack shop and listening to the inane conversations on Absolute Radio. The crazy radio presenters really saved her life some nights. They would say something so obscure and ridiculous that she would chuckle into her tear soaked pillow and then be able to sleep.

She would look in the mirror as she forced herself to brush her teeth and just didn't know who was looking back at her.

Was it him?

Was it her?

His voice reverberated in her head, the phrases, the fonts, the laughter... there had been one good conversation. A few very fun and loving online conversations on social media.
 
His eyes blazed into hers when she closed them at night and she felt her heart sinking and leaking all over again.

She began overeating and developed a sugar addiction that only recently was diagnosed.

On the bright side, she came across dozens of very creative and healing sad Bollywood and Pakistani Coke Studio songs such as Chayi Hai Tanhai, Paimana Bideh and Neun La Leya to reflect the pain and disintegration of her being. More recently, the first Alan Walker song, Faded and Umer Farooq's haunting Keh Na were discovered and soothed her aching soul.

This was all then.

"So, my question again, Sukaina, is why are the tears leaking now, just as forcefully and passionately as they did then? 

Have the wounds not yet healed? 
Did you re-attach a negative cord back to him out of habit? 
Do you have toxic, nuclear levels of karma that just won't be cleared through your prayers and acts of service?

What is it? God, why does the pain not stop? He is just a MAN!

You know he is not a twin flame. We changed the fabric of the universe and entered a parallel universe whereby he is a soul like all the others you have no link with, to the point you will become indifferent to him. Forget him entirely.

We entered a universe whereby you are back on form with all the advocacy and changes you are to bring to people's lives, in the form that is best for everyone involved. Maybe kids, maybe refugees, and all to do with mental health and consciousness and clearing obstacles to expression. Definitely to do with art, music, writing and creativity to a level you've never experienced before.

So, what's up? Why the tears and the devastation in the heart? Why recreate the exact same feelings and regrets you had six years ago? You have all the pink, green and black crystals you possibly could to heal the heart and clear the cords! You even have the flower remedies to ensure you never repeat the same mistakes! You even became a bona fide SHAMAN to ensure you could walk your own sacred feminine path to God, and let go of the attachments to this world.

You prayed for relief at the sacred tomb of Jelaluddin Rumi in Konya, Turkey. And in the Valley of Kings in Luxor, Egypt. (Okay, well I prayed in the swanky hotel I was staying at the spiritual retreat at - we did past clearings then - well, so we said!)

Surely your ego isn't still so massive that you would even entertain the thought that he loved you at some point? Or that you guys had a chance and were somehow sabotaged? Or that him being with the woman of his dreams is somehow an insult to you, since you have had less than ideal experiences with men since him?"

The answer is always so simple.

We have the layers of karmic explanations, and the karmic debt 16/7 explanations and the Atlantis and Lemuria explanations... and then there is the practical explanation.


I lost myself when he left. Not BECAUSE he left.

I had lost perhaps 50% of myself before I had met him, then lost another 30% after meeting him and him leaving.... and my connection with my Creator became fragmented.

It still is, which is why he has such an impact upon me. When you make an intimate connection with a person or circumstance that interferes with your God connection, drama ensues.

I still don't read any fiction, which I used to devour with a passion. I don't read any of the New Age books either, unless it is really important, such as looking for an affirmation. I'm reading Matt Kahn's new book Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins With You because I have to write the review of it for this blog and another online magazine, but it's taking me an absurdly long time. I just can't focus too much.

I used to play tennis at university, and stopped since then and even though I have the opportunity to play here, I don't. I go to a few musical and healing or spiritual meditation events here and there, but nothing major. I have stopped running as well!

My flame keeps petering out.... I can't really persuade myself to become passionate about anything in my personal life. In my career and professional life, I have a clearer idea about what I wish to do. I am passionate about helping people, through writing and other means. To enhance lives. To bring about peace and joy and forward progress.

My yoga practice is my mainstay, and even that I have had to cajole myself into keeping up the classes because I know how it is benefiting me on all levels.I also know what happens when I stop going for classes: the cycle repeats itself.

That is basically it.

I do not miss him any longer, there is nothing to miss. We miss memories, we regret actions - and we are in the now. After six years, even someone as nostalgic and romantic as I am has come to terms with the real world.

Maybe I was under some sort of spell I wove expertly for myself. My soul always knew that I had to encounter many illusions and that the pain in their removal will bring about my refreshed and humbled soul.

It is just the realisation that, after reclaiming all my energy back from him, I am still somewhat adrift. I still don't feel whole, that fragments of my soul and self are somewhere other than inside of me. I still don't have any real plans, any real goals, any real interests that I used to have once, or that other people have.

And it has finally dawned on me that it had nothing to do with him, after all! It really could just have been anyone. The soul lessons are learned through any person fit for the role. It's never really personal in the end.

And so my soul cries and the tears drop onto the blue yoga mat during downward dog for the years wasted in illusions so thick and strong, they felt so very real to me.

I was expecting some sort of happy ending, in the form of friendship at the very least. Instead, he makes a lame joke about us being together next lifetime, and the headache he would experience in having two wives. When I read that, I knew that he was doing his best to be kind and friendly. Yet, there was no depth of connection and no flower of acknowledgement.

I did not appreciate his sense of humour. Two wives. Yes, quite an idea, just what I had been hinting at. Not!Almost as funny as his assumption I had intended to move to Turkey for reasons more insidious than to teach TEFL.

Connection, empathy and acknowledgement: those are the things I have to make available to myself from myself.

I am getting there.

Shamanic tools for healing

There is a theory in shamanic circles that we make ourselves go through trauma, then heal it but not entirely, as within the little scar lays the core of our supreme healing powers. I prefer that perspective to the one I have been telling myself: you're weird and emotionally naive.

I pray the empathy that I have realised through this experience will emanate to everyone who is also dealing with their trauma and wounds. As of now, it hasn't quite been the case as I am the one in need of my own understanding.

I became a character in a Jane Austen novel. The most poorly written one, with social media, emotional health issues, silence, passive aggression and ghosting taking centre stage.

What now?
Who am I without this obsession that took over six years of my life?
How do I redeem myself?

I am who I am. And I most certainly am where I am.

Judgements may flow all though my veins about where I ought to be, and yet, perhaps every single part of this roller-coaster video game is pre-planned before incarnation. My free will lays in my response.

And a response of absolute devotion and gratitude to the divine is needed.

And the response seems to always be love and forgiveness, for self and others.

My ability to be authentic about my weaknesses and flaws and mistakes is a good way to break through my self-made obstacles, in a way. One cannot be a writer if one cannot be willing to expose themselves through the words on the page.

For me, it mainly is to do with feeling all emotions as equally valid, and giving myself the love I have avoided giving to myself for years.

You see, God is waiting for me to call Him my Beloved.

In the end, God has been the Patient One (as-Sabur), waiting in the wings for me to accept and acknowledge the love between the exalted Creator and His wonderful creation.

The mystics and dervishes don't go mad for no reason, they have tasted the sublimity of Divine love and nothing else can compare after that.

Be noble, for you are made of stardust...

Come, come, again,
Whoever you are, Come!
Heathen, Fire worshipper or idolatrous,
Come! Come even
If you have broken
Your penitence a hundred times,
Ours is the portal of hope
Come as you are...
Ours is not a caravan of despair

Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi

Let us hope for that for Sukaina. I feel she has taken powerful steps towards the esteemed honour of becoming entirely annihilated and thereafter to be solely in the world and definitely not of it.

In society, but not meant to be like anyone else. In pure service to His creation.

It has been a while since I went to a temple, synagogue or church to devote to the silence. I suppose my soul would like that sort of ritual again.

Maureen Moss | It's time to take Destiny into your own hands

Maureen Moss

4 hrs · 

 

I began to simply post a portion of my latest newsletter: "The Bells of Destiny," (see below) when I heard about the latest massive attack killing 75+ people in France.

We are a world divided and and a people in massive pain.

We are witnessing death, division, racism, terrorism, incoherence and destruction quicker than the mind can comprehend...though comprehend we must. And, it must start with us.

We have a connection to make.

Not for one more minute can we terrorize ourselves by one unkind word spoken to ourselves. Not for one more minute can we divide our consciousness by pitting ourselves against ourselves...about anything. Truth and lies do not co-exist peacefully.

Not for one more minute can we offer droplets of compassion to ourselves and in the next minute accept, consent and believe the mind when it belittles us. We are sacred gifts upon this earth. When will we believe it?

Not for one more minute can we look into the eyes of any other and decide we know who they are and then judge them by our perceptions. We are all encoded with the Light of God. Everyone is having their own journey. Who are we to judge? We have our own Lights to switch on.

And, not for one more minute can we toy around with affirmations about loving ourselves. We either do...or we Must Find The Way to.

We can't afford to break our own hearts any longer. We can't afford to hang on to our pain, divides and grievances. That's what began the worlds crippling disregard for Life, for Love, for All lives matter... at the core.

It's time to take Destiny into your own hands.

NEWSLETTER: THE BELLS OF DESTINY
Click on www.maureenmoss.com/newsletter-page

Matt Kahn | Commmunity

Matt Kahn & Julie Dittmar

Yesterday at 14:24 ·

Community can be an ironic place to meet with those of like mind. In the beginning, you are coming together, either for a common purpose, or through a common interest in a subject, as a vast array of unique individuals unite in a field of resonance. Everyone deserves a support group or others to turn toward for additional companionship. Especially when it comes to spiritual community, one deserves any degree of nurturing support, as they maneuver through the vast and often uncompromising landscapes of their inner journey. In the beginning, a spiritual community is typically at its strongest potency, often embodying the teachings that brought everyone together to explore the deeper mysteries of existence.

Gradually, a support group of heart-centered fellowship becomes a spiritually-themed rumor mill. When this occurs, complaining and blaming seems to be a more habit-forming tendency. There are those in community, who recognize the blaming and complaints of others as the unraveling of unconsciousness. To the best of their ability, they try holding space for someone else’s experience, but soon the gift of active listening pulls the listener into the heat of the conflict to choose sides and join a social battle.

Whether you have been ostracized by the unconscious actions of a spiritual group, or you can recognize the negative tendencies you may be contributing in group settings, I offer these following insights to offer more heart-centered care for every healing heart. As you read this, please do not assume every detail must apply to you. Instead, allow your intuition to reveal the most important key points for you to embrace.

As empaths, we are so in-tune with the feelings of others and so sensitive to the precious nature of each experience that we cannot allow anyone to feel left out or remain excluded. It’s our spiritual form of Kryptonite. In attempt to make everyone feel included, the unconscious characters who blame and complain on a regular basis, claiming they just want to be heard and have a chance to “speak their truth” inevitably pull empaths into their whirlwind of blame, complaints, judgments, assumptions, accusations, and finger-pointing.

All too often, an empath loses their ground and winds up becoming a foot soldier for the agenda of unconsciousness, taking someone’s side in an argument without proof or evidence, just so the one who suffers doesn’t feel alone.

The question remains, how do you support someone engulfed in negativity, without blindly validating a standpoint that at its fundamental core, cannot be rooted in truth whenever blame, accusations, or gossip are involved?

In the evolution of consciousness, we open our eyes to truth by surrendering the need to point our fingers in any direction. If not, you’re likely to create a community like any other interest group with the only difference being an affinity for spiritual subject matters. Throughout the course of our journey, we have come way too far in our growth and expansion to lose sight of where we are headed. We literally rest on the brink of life’s deepest discovery that either unites us together as greater embodiments of our highest divine wisdom, or we become spiritual versions of victimhood in action.
Holding space for someone’s plight requires patience and focus. For many beings, they either listen to an endless array of complaints, where they eventually validate someone’s opinion, as more innocent hearts get coerced into agreeing with assumptions and projections that are presented as fact, or they attempt to coach someone out of their darkness, which often leads to greater personal conflict. Despite its deepest plea, unconsciousness doesn’t want to be rescued from the dark -- it just wants to be right.

Every heart always deserves opportunities to grow and be heard, but when someone is releasing patterns of unconsciousness, while playing it out externally, they are not in a position for greater perspective. They merely need space away from engagement to be with themselves as the healing unfolds, while they reach out for anyone to grip and convince of their viewpoint.

Unconsciousness hates being in its own space. If it spent a few moments alone, it would begin to fall apart and integrate. This is the best case scenario on a soul level and public enemy number one for the unconsciousness that attempts to stay in-tact.

Even when a heart-centered being attempts to remind the one engulfed in their own unconsciousness of their tendency to blame, assume, accuse, gossip, and judge, it is often met with a response of victimhood or martyrdom, accusing the conscious one of not giving them the freedom to speak their mind. They’ll even overly dramatize it to the point of accusing the group to be cult-like, if negativity isn’t given a constant forum to spew its venom without looking at its behavior or the effect it has on others.

As soon as empaths hear someone is left out, the tendency is to match the other person’s unconsciousness and join their side as way of helping them to feel included, accepted, and whole.
Of course, not every spiritual community is cult-like. It’s often the best excuse negativity has when not the center of everyone’s attention. A cult is defined as a group that has forgone its individuality, in favor of giving their power to a self-professed leader. While many have survived these damaging environments that first appeared spiritual in nature, a modern day spiritual teacher simply leads by example.

A true teacher acts out the very wisdom they offer – in every situation and under any circumstance. This is what allows them to be a source of inspiration for so many beings. They offer pure insight, intuitive guidance, and heart-centered support, while giving you back the power of your individuality to think and act for yourself. While you are free to be whatever individual that you choose, your journey evolves as you decide how honorable of an individual you wish to be. This cannot occur by trying to prove anything to someone embroiled in negativity, or by losing sight of your journey in attempt to rescue another.

From the standpoint of negativity, it cannot feel accepted unless others listen, agree, and join their fight. Even then, acceptance isn’t felt at all. It’s just negativity slowing its own unraveling as it is fed with more validation.

When someone is on a negative downward spiral, they are willing to misread, misperceive, and twist things around to keep them feeling justified in their argument through the activity of blame. Whether played out by an individual or a community, negativity signifies a deeper healing taking place. As it occurs, the only direction for negative energy to travel is to end up in some form of disappointment.
Judgment is the evidence of healing in progress. Disappointment represents the unraveling of unconsciousness, where the one being purged often feels deflated, as their ego is stripped of its insatiable hunger for control or more things to seek. When this occurs, it’s easy for the one who blames, accuses, stirs the pot of controversy, and makes the most noise to feel disappointed in a group or individual who didn’t agree or join them in opposition. All too often, the unconsciousness that was so desperate for the approval of others, while working to suck them into their vortex of blame, now goes to the opposite side of polarity to withdraw and shutdown.

For an empath, it can seem like a no-win situation, where if you listen long enough to someone’s complaints, you’re likely to join their side, if not totally rooted in the autonomy of your own consciousness. If you don’t agree with them, they accuse you of judgment, hoping to lure you in with feedback of feeling left out. Even when attempting to show them their own patterns at play, they often feel unheard, unrecognized, and become the most wounded victim to pull at your empathic heartstrings. Of course, never once has their unconsciousness taken inventory of their behavior or given themselves enough space to see the chaos they are stirring up.

Unconsciousness doesn’t know how to be aware, self-reflective, or even listen. It simply justifies, accuses, and fights.

Whether you find yourself in community with friends, family, or even with those of spiritual like mind, here are a few simple ways to hold space without adding to a controversy that may only exist in the mind of someone who heals unconscious patterns while identifying with it.

Tip #1: Listening is an effective tool of holding space as long as you are choosing to listen. The moment you no longer desire listening to their negativity, it is not a judgment, but your intuition saying: “You’ve given the gift of listening, but now you are beginning to match their vibration. You are no longer helpful for their healing. Instead, they are beginning to have an adverse effect on your energetic field.”

What if you said: “Thank you for sharing your point of view. I honor your passion, but I cannot listen any longer. At this moment, I am no longer helpful for your healing and I must hold space for myself. I wish you the best of luck in your journey ahead.”

You might think: “If I said that, they would be disappointed.”

You are correct. That would most likely disappoint them, but you aren’t the one disappointing them at all. Disappointment is the next stage of healing that unfolds as patterns of judgment are unraveled, which occurs when the one seeking attention or validation for their blame is no longer fed by others.
It is inevitable that unconsciousness transitions from the compulsive and aggressive darkness of judgment into the obsessive and wounded terrain of disappointment. While everyone deserves more love not less, even if a group of angelic beings were to surround a negative person with healing light, it couldn’t prevent the disappointment that is paramount to the ego’s surrender.

Without fail or effort, you are bound to disappoint someone who is just looking for more things to pick apart. The key is making sure you are choosing to listen, while being present with listening, as an evolving skill for your journey, without being so invested in their healing that you forget to hold space for yourself. The appearance of other people exist in your field of reality to offer you the chance to practice being consciousness in action. One of the prime skills empaths are learning is how to be honest and heart-centered at the same time. Many empaths would believe that if someone felt unheard or left out, they must not have done their job as an ambassador of love.

In reality, a venomous character is here to help give an empath back their power. This occurs by offering you a chance to choose from a space of freedom and speak as openly and honestly as you would like to be addressed, while not allowing their unconscious stand point to pull you into chaos.
Negative people are bound to be disappointed. They are spiritual target practice for those who are learning to be as honest as they are loving, without the fear of someone’s disappointment or self-imposed exclusion pulling you away from seeing the opportunity they are offering you.

Only listen when you choose to listen. If you cannot be what someone needs from you, the moment you say no with honor and humility and walk away, the Universe creates a new character or situation to be for that person whatever they need most. Ultimately, they are the listener they are searching for, but until that realization dawns, you most likely won’t be the first or even the last person to not give them what they want. Your choice may not be what the character desires, but it will always be the perfect catalyst they need for their journey ahead.

Tip #2: Align with the truth of your own direct experience. Just because someone else cries foul play doesn’t mean it actually happened. If you are not having the same experience as others, investigate their claims for yourself. Other people may act as animated yelp reviews, but it is important to not just adopt someone else’s experience without having your own experience to go by. Dare to be your own investigative reporter by going directly to the source in question for information, instead of gathering ideas and beliefs from the perceptions of others. Sometimes, people act as whistle blowers for the unsavory or devious activities that others cannot see. Meanwhile, the majority of complaints are merely someone’s misperception of reality they insist to be fact as a way of justifying their tendency to fight, judge, gossip, or oppose.

Tip #3: Even though you can feel the insufferable experience of another, you cannot control their reality or do any of their inner work for them. In community, we are here to support, encourage, honor, and love as an externalized practice of saying to others the words we’ve waited our entire lives to hear. This does not require you to become an accomplice in someone’s agenda. A character can appear to be interested in spiritual growth, but where are they making time to become the highest version of their Soul’s potential when engulfed in negativity, judgment, accusation, gossip, and blame?

You cannot make anyone see what they refuse to see. All you can do is see the opportunity they are giving you, which is to only act from a space of choice and speak as honestly as you are loving, without blaming yourself for someone’s disappointment, feelings of abandonment, or experience of exclusion.

Tip#4: Do not obligate yourself to give advice to someone who is lost in negativity. Judgment and criticism lets you know on a soul level that they are currently unable to take in anything insightful. Instead of trying to be their rescuer, merely be a supporter, who responds to their negativity with an honest compliment for their innocence to receive. As people feel a greater sense of self-worth, negativity dissolves.

Even if you said: “I don’t have a solution for you and it ok that we see things differently. Thank you for letting me know how you feel. I send blessings your way and rest in knowing that you will come out of this better than ever before.”

In essence, the best advice that most negative people actually need is just a moment of positive encouragement. While everyone has the right to feel however they feel, you don’t have to validate their behavior as being rational, no matter how quickly they accuse you of judging them.

Tip #5: For heart-centered beings, other people’s criticism is not a reflection of anything you did wrong or something unresolved in you. This gets tricky because the people who are most negative have such an inflated and obscured view of themselves that they believe they are the heart-centered ones being persecuted by others who simply won’t join their fight.

Negative people know their potential as heart-centered beings, while refusing to demonstrate it publicly. Equally so, empaths can feel the Divinity in negative people, while misunderstanding their intuition as judgments. It’s not a judgment to acknowledge where someone is in their journey, no matter how much potential or Divinity you can feel within them.

The most honorable choice is relating and responding to who people are in their actions right now, instead of making excuses for their behavior, while blinded by the possibility of who they could become. The key is to always speak to others with the words, tone, and candor that you would like someone to offer you. As long as that occurs, you are acting from a space of personal integrity.
If you aren’t able to do so, then your inability to speak honestly, openly, and thoughtfully indicates that you held space too long, bypassing your ability to choose, and then responded from an unconscious space of matching their vibration.

Tip #6 – As soon as you are done listening, engaging, or indulging someone’s negativity, remove yourself from their presence and embrace your heart. Taking time to love your own heart not only offers distance healing on an energetic level to any degree of negativity, but it also cleanses your field of anything you helped them release. When negative people are ruthless, repetitive, and close-minded in public, we assist in their healing by embracing our own hearts in private.

Again, they are on their own unique journey, so they are not reflecting anything negative in you. They are reflecting an opportunity for you to strengthen the muscles of your most conscious conduct by being patient, thoughtful, honest, and caring, as long it feels like choice versus an obligation. The moment you do something out of obligation, nothing you do will have permanent or long-lasting effect in their journey. Especially since, obligation is an extension of conformity, which is a tenant of fear. In most cases, we obligate ourselves to do for others to avoid the fear of being rejected, ridiculed, or excluded. Instead of acting in avoidance of fear, choose to see it as an opportunity to love the one who is afraid to speak or stand in their highest truth.


On an energetic level, you may sense having endured punishment or even death for speaking or standing for your truth in past incarnations, but this lifetime proves that you have survived those chapters of persecution. You are here, in a paradigm of evolving consciousness, where it is safe to stand in your truth, as long as you are not relying on the unconscious of others to feed you with approval.

Through these insights and with practice engaging with souls at various levels of maturity, you can learn to hone your empathic abilities, and strengthen the power of your intuitive discernment, while discovering the courage to demonstrate your highest wisdom in action, no matter how misguided others around you seem to be. When judgment, criticism, condemnation, or gossip is active, there is no truth being spoken or considered. It is merely the activity of unconsciousness unraveling in those who act out the very patterns they blame in others.

Hold space if you wish, only listen for as long as you desire, while always remembering your willingness to love yourself more often as the greatest assistance you may offer to any healing heart. May we come together in community to practice the very teachings that unite us, instead of turning our sacred space into a toxic environment, despite our interest in something more meaningful, authentic, and fulfilling.

If you are interested in spiritual exploration, then you are open to acting out the wisdom that you receive to the best of your ability and eager to practice what you learn for the evolution of the whole without being too hard on yourself. In a modern day spiritual journey, we don’t blame, we simply deepen our practices of self-love, no matter the risk or consequence.

This is what it means to return to the light. As always, you must step into the light, in order for others to find their way home. You are not abandoning complainers or closing your heart in any way. While it may seem as if you are turning away from someone in need, you are simply facing the direction of your highest destiny and leading the way for the wellbeing of all.

Matt Kahn
www.TrueDivineNature.com